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Date asked me what I write bits about…

I told them I WANT to floss every day and they said there are no points for that.

He went to go get the other doctor to look at something. In that time, I’ve decided I probably have 3 weeks to live due to a rare mouth condition that you get for not flossing five times a day.

I asked if I can get tooth gems and they said no.

I think we’re making eye contact through the tilted/prism glasses… 😳

As punishment, he brought out the water pik that produces the exact frequency to debilitate 23 year olds who don’t pay enough attention while brushing

Dentists are so cryptic and mysterious when they’re in your mouth.. “make sure you pay EXTRA attention right here when you brush…” What is it, man?! Tell me what you see!

Don’t get mad when I add your parents on LinkedIn 🤷‍♀️

Found out this week that someone in my life doesn’t like me.

Feeling my only option is to rewind time and start life over as a baby.

When my apt got robbed, I didn’t know I would be less hurt by what was taken than I would be by what was left.

Both of my roommates got all their jewelry stolen.

When I came home mine was all there. Embarrassing.

Leftists: it’s time to talk about the inherently exclusionary and hierarchically privileged nature of “snaps of agreement.” Not everyone can snap. Non-snappers also deserve the opportunity to express their agreement in organizing spaces.

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How to respond when your preteen cousin asks at Christmas why you got broken up with

Last night I thought there could be nothing meaner than people bringing their dogs to First Night fireworks. Then 30m later I saw they made those same dogs ride a red line train 😔 I wouldn’t wish the red line on my worst enemy!