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Posts by Jack Schitt

By the look er ya face I reckon he just buttered his last biscuit. He went that a way

2 months ago 1 2 0 0

He already came back. He was hanging out with the poor and downtrodden again so when they killed him a second time, no one noticed. Just dumped him in a pauper’s grave with a couple other hobos.

2 months ago 3 0 0 0

Shiiiiiiii…….

2 months ago 1 0 0 0

Groper Cleveland

2 months ago 3 0 0 0

Just traumatizing actual humans to train an AI that’s incapable of empathy. Wild.

2 months ago 4 0 0 0

Gonna try driving around town till I see a drive thru that’s full. Gonna get in line and when I finally get to the menu and they ask me what I’d like to order I’m just going to say Uuummmmmm… one second really loud. Preferably they’ll be a lot of people behind me.

2 months ago 5 0 0 0

In order to get credit you have to have credit that you can’t get till you have credit….

2 months ago 1 0 0 0

Billion dollar idea

2 months ago 3 0 1 0

This is another one of those ideas where I’m like just give me all the money and I’ll spend all of it on trying to do something fun and helpful.

2 months ago 3 0 0 0
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Ok so there are some kinks to work out. Like the cat that pees on everything. Maybe piss proof fabric. Someone needs to invent piss proof fabric. Wait. As a billionaire I could do it.

2 months ago 3 0 1 0

These billionaires are really wasting their money on AI. Total waste of time. They need to figure how to make dogs live as long as people so I don’t have to cry my eyes out every 10-15 years.

They can do this for cats too.

2 months ago 38 4 5 0

The typos are sending me. I’m trying to deal with all the awful shit in these emails and I gotta translate this shit into English because these monsters can’t type!

2 months ago 5 0 0 0

Valentina makes everything better

2 months ago 1 0 1 0

That game was awesome!

2 months ago 2 0 0 0

I remember when excite bike came out on the nes and I was blown away by the idea you could make your own levels and play them with friends. My very next thought was I wish I could make dungeons in Zelda. It’s a no brainer.

2 months ago 1 0 1 0

Did you see the after credits?

2 months ago 1 0 1 0
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And so on and so on unto the quantum level at which point all notions of time and space and individuality have broken down into the cosmic oneness of energy in which everyone is guilty and innocent simultaneously. Sponsored by Kodak.

2 months ago 3 1 0 0

This is brilliant. When they turn their body cams off the little cameras will be there to film them turning their body cams off.

2 months ago 2 0 1 0

I just run into them? Maybe animals hate me.

2 months ago 2 0 0 0

Been bit by dogs. Snakes. Lots of bugs. A cat bite sent me to the hospital with my forearm swoll up. The docs said another few hours and it’d have been gangrene. This was only about half a day after the bite.

2 months ago 1 0 1 0

Curing the illness by killing the patient

2 months ago 1 0 0 0

How could you do this to me? How could you make hotdogs gross?

2 months ago 2 0 1 0

Ok beer selection. And their old movie runs gives me a chance to show my kids some classics on the big screen

2 months ago 2 0 1 0
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It was like I was so excited to get out of school and move on. Now they own everything and run the government. Or they fully support all the cruelty because the gay people are gross and weird. Give them a victim to punch down on and they’re the best supporters.

2 months ago 5 0 0 0

Nailed it! I was just thinking of Bill Paxton in Weird Science. I love him and he’s hilarious in that role but there were dudes in my high school just like that.

2 months ago 1 0 1 0

the potential for computing technology to make life more immediately convenient was exhausted with the innovation of "use phone to get burger" and everything past that is diminishing returns for increasing immiseration of the masses

2 months ago 111 10 2 0

As an old Gen X it feels like the dudes in highschool who thought being cruel and being tough are the same thing just stayed the same. And now they run things.

2 months ago 25 0 2 0
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👇😊

2 months ago 115 9 5 4

Me when i get behind those flatbeds with the giant bundles of rebar. Impaled indeed!

2 months ago 8 0 1 0

💯. I don’t even like musicals and that’s one of my favorite episodes

2 months ago 1 0 0 0