Why is Tom Segura doing Paxlovid Ads?

@moalexander.bsky.social I have started running into old friends. But that's because they're MAGA now.

MFK

Marry Nickelback
Fuck Creed
Kill Oasis

#IllNeverSayNeverTo Miss Moneypenny Again

Yeah, we were told there would be flying cars. But. It is still kind of cool that you can teach your grandmother's car to back up the driveway while blasting Onyx.

In the real world, your vote doesn't count, because you are an idiot.

Dear Republicans,

I've adjusted my taxes so I'll have less to spend each month, just so that I won't owe any money next year.

Know also, this means I cannot afford a new American car, any bourbons, nor many other necessities and luxuries.

Kinda tired of supporting the wealthy.

-The Middle

@liligurl67.bsky.social bsky.app/profile/meid...

Do mushrooms?

Pretty sure we are the type of people that won't pick up random socks.

#hazmat

Picture of a split log in front of a pile of freshly cut cedar logs.

Awww! Pictures from the family reunion. Big party tonight!

Picture of a split log laying on the side of the road near a guardrail.

Hello dear cold and lonely log, abandoned by the side of the road. I will bring you to meet your kin, and they shall keep you warm.

When I'm using the stall in the bathroom, and someone is using the urinal, and they fart, I yell "Oopsie!"

#BathroomThoughts

Ok, body, I get it. I'm too old to have a nachos platter for dinner.

#BathroomThoughts

Great post!

Trying to get on
Mangione's first jury
Because I'm a peer

#HaikuYourResolutions

Now if we could get bigger accounts to follow suit...

I think Snoop and Willie might disagree. 😎

Until Disney"borrows" and copyrights what it wants.

I mean, you have a cat. How far is the BBQ sauce and a fire source?

NDA : I'm a fan of people and animals and people that love animals. So shut up.

Oh, I get it. He's killing all the competition.

Pour orange paint on everything and call it Donald.

We should be SO far past this.

Even Jesus blew out a sandal trying to shuffle.

I swear, if one of these sprinklers want to sprink on me they better run fast.

You know what would be awesome right now?

The HVAC unit roaring to life.
That might almost give me
an ironic heart attack.
Ironic heart attack?

People being scared is funny.
I hope they don't die.
Don't scare me.

You will be visited by three spirits.

Jack Daniel's, Johnnie Walker, and Jose Cuervo.

Jokes on you, the GOP had Jose Cuervo deported.

Of course we're talking about
Lyberth Lyson.

I got a $10 gift card for Five Guys so I guess I'll get a side of pickles.

I got a $10 gift card for _____ so I guess I'll get______.

And to you and yours!

You'll be ok, you're not his type.