*Drinks a glass of water*

Man, I am so good at taking care of myself. Like wow 💅🏻✨

You know you’re approaching your 30’s when you’re genuinely excited about the new shower head you just installed 😭

Boss: Brooke, we’re going to have to let you go.

Me: *pausing Twilight on my laptop* What? Why???

I can tell I was born to be rich by the way I spend money 🥰✨🤷🏻‍♀️💅🏻

Yall ever get a cramp in your side and immediately think “Oh God, its appendicitis.” Or is that just me? ☠️

I see a cat - you’re hired.

Are you free tomorrow?”

No, I’m expensive every day 💅🏻✨👑

Interviewer: How would you describe your work ethic?

Me: Kinda like how Justin Timberlake performs at his concerts these days.

Interviewer: Sorry I don’t understand-

Me: One sec, my bestie just sent me a TikTok.

Hallmark movies piss me off so bad because what do you MEAN you want me to leave my high paying job to come run this Christmas Tree Farm with you?!?!

More days like this plz.

I got this from Costco!

REALLY SICK of the blatant Eugenics ad that American Eagle has done with Sydney Sweenie.

EVERYBODY LOOK AT MY PRETTY NEW LAMP 😍🫶🏻✨💃🏻💅🏻

Me at home: Why isn't there more kindness in the world? 🥺

Me while driving: I hate every single person on this planet.

LMAO no it’s wine

Cool thing I’m trying out - puzzle timelapse

He WILL be hearing from me tonight

Hey thanks for reading my post! Just gonna ask you a question real quick before you scroll. 👀

The spicy dill pickle chips by Miss Vickie’s is THE best chip on the market rn.

Announcement: I’m boycotting CBS for purely financial reasons 🥰

Him texting me: I’m so glad you’re not one of those crazy girls!

Also him: hears giggling coming from his closet

🥰

I’m not gonna lie this meal was better than therapy.

My goal in life is to be a rich bitch. So far I’m just a bitch. Half way there!

Christmas gift idea 🥰

No thanks. They terrify me!!

✨

Chipotle!!!

“You got any games on your phone?”

Unrelated but this gif is phenomenal.