from time to time the memory of my girlfriend describing drunk women pissing on the ground as “rottweilers” pops into my head

that could only be divine providence bestowed upon her by god

but then its no longer trad

husband in the trad polycule: oh fuuuuck how am i gonna pay for this many peoples dinners

am i right guys i bet this is a common issue

i think the last one was 4k blu ray discs

they should make a technology thats good

hanging upside down helps

mcdouble yes big mac no

they should make a job that doesnt blow chunks so my poser parents will get off my trucks

i bet going to new york city and then making an IG post about it with empire state of mind as the music feels so good

“anyone know whats happening by the mcdonalds? lots of police there”

“yeah looks like there was a bomb threat, its an active situation could detonate at any moment. buddy of mine at the station says its a huge one”

would it be unethical to make up outlandish answers to all the paranoid schizo posts on the ring app?

what if they replaced Ao Bing in Ne Zha 2 with Bing Crosby and instead of gracefully kicking ass as a beautiful dragon twink he went “im dreaming of a white christmas”

make him blue hulk. or make him be bob dylan again

living through butlerian jihad is gonna be so crazy

whats up with you guys and rats asses. dont think id even consider trading a rats ass for goods and services. very disrespectful

its ok take your time quark

holy shit the golden path

do you guys know how to beat sister friede when i beat it and then a third phase began it was like god spit into my eyes for my prideful ways

i think they made a movie about this called the thing?

me and the guys were talking and rumor says he cant beat the gold stakes and thinks cutting the required blind points via layoffs will make the numbers look better this quarter for chat

sorry i know your bio says dni and i i’d but it was really funny and laughter is meant to be shared freely with joy and love

heard theyre basing the layoffs on who gets shuffled into a flush. everyone else is safe

there is nothing more smarmy millennial-coded than the passionate pickleball player. you were playing quidditch in 2017 we didnt forget

what would be a clean penis book

they should make a human society that goes and watches furiosa in theaters

lowkey you know shits about to pop off when the saints go marching in

just sniff them up really quickly

im a bidet enjoyer no doodoo butt on this page

neurotypicals dont understand the power of writing “go poop” on your to do list and then crossing it off after you go poop