Just kidding, I actually spent $300

There’s a version of post-nut clarity you get after spending $200 at Lush and realizing none of the spa treatments soaking into your pores will cure your anxiety. #lessonslearnedinlife

Assassin’s spaghetti for dinner tonight. First time making it. I didn’t have the courage to burn it as much as you’re supposed to.

My Bluesky algorithm serves up 50% gay porn, 50% left wing extremism. This isn’t a complaint.

Weird how some people fall apart when they get older and some are basically fine into their 90s. Just feels like a lottery mostly. Pretty sure I’ve been taking my multivitamin for no good reason.

Weird how some people just win the lottery like that. I like reading about the habits of people who live until they’re 110+ and it’s always like, “I wake up and put a shot of whisky into my coffee and drink it on the porch with my first cigar…”

When I went through my family history with a doctor earlier in the year I swear he audibly said the word “wow” when he looked at everything he’d noted.

The only good thing I got through genetics was that I turned out tall. Can’t think of a single other thing I’m glad I inherited.

Aesop’s Gloam EDP is here to answer the age-old question: What would it smell like if you threw potpourri and lightly-sucked cough drops on a sweaty armpit? (I don’t hate it).

Never had to go to the hospital for one…I guess there’s still time.

Interacting with the definitely very real people in my DMs just to feel something. The scams start quick, it’s really starting to feel just like Twitter here.

Every day is a good day to smell like Memoirs of a Trespasser: scorched, boozy, woody vanilla. Smells like a used book store that’s also a whiskey bar.

Persimmons are back in season 😍

All these years working in an office and everything I manage to do in Excel is still basically the result of frantic Googling.

“Everything in moderation, including moderation,” I whisper, eating an entire medium pizza.

I hope nobody ever shows Neil deGrasse Tyson these lyrics

Sotd is Erémia EDP from Aesop. Photorealistic wet sidewalk beside a vacant lot filled with wildflowers. Wild that they released something that smells like this but I’m a fan.

I guess I’ll come back to post about perfume, I know so many of my followers were missing that content…

Somehow I got to a place where everyone and everything is “bro”…It was ironic at first but now it’s not and I don’t know how to stop.

Aw man

A photo of a night sky with a tree branch in the foreground and a palm tree in the background.

Is this liminal?

The Home Depot has discovered the immense advertising power of a man with beefy, hairy forearms. I’m going there tomorrow to buy something, I don’t have any other choice.

A black and white photo of a perfume bottle with a silver cap. The logo of the fragrance house (Etat Libre d’Orange) is circular, and the name of the fragrance (Archives 69) as well as the house are printed around a bullseye pattern at the center.

Sotd: Archives 69 from ELDO. The camphor is something my brain didn’t know what to do with (who decided to make sultry Vicks VapoRub?) But stick around for the dry down: pink pepper, tangerine, incense, musk. I’d spray it on my scarf, if I were a librarian with a sexy secret (and maybe a head cold).

A perfume bottle with a silver cap. The logo of the fragrance house (Etat Libre d’Orange) is a white circle with a red and blue bullseye, and the name of the fragrance is listed around the bullseye (Herman A Mes Cotes Me Paraissait Une Ombre).

Sotd: Hermann A Mes Cotes from ELDO. The geosmin in this gives photorealistic petrichor—smells like literal raindrops on roses, with fruity touches and some pepper. Who made this thing and why? (But it’s good!)

Taking screenshots every time Facebook tries to sell me something related to ball maintenance and hygiene. I thought bathing was enough?

I don’t think I was imagining the candle hard enough :-/

I tried meditation but I must not have been doing it right because nothing got better. I hope you figure out the right way to do it.

In spite of it all, I’m still holding out hope that all my problems might be solved if I drink more water.

My coworker referred to someone who doesn’t do most of her job as a “minimalist” today and I can’t stop thinking about it