Skipping through town under the warm spring sun, cheerfully whistling the latest earworm from sunn o)))

When you start driving an SUV you get a call from someone saying "there's a bomb in your car that will go off if you ever give way to another road user or pedestrian" and that's why they're all like that

‘She’d been drinking with Julie Walters. I heard a crash’: Victoria Wood’s genius – by her friends, fans and actors Dazzling performer, brilliant writer, maddening perfectionist, Easter Egg hunt maestro … on the 10th anniversary of Wood’s death, those who knew her best celebrate the shy introvert who redefined come...

Nothing on the planet fills me with greater melancholy than a Victoria Wood retrospective www.theguardian.com/stage/2026/a...

This honestly must be the best feeling in the entire world. More people have gone into space than done this (in a professional capacity) (I assume)

I'm delighted they fill you with a sense of longing for a past you can only glimpse behind a gauzy veil of elegiac ambient composition

What are they going to do about it, wave a twig at me?

New Boards of Canada very nice but they are still up there with eg British Sea Power for me in terms of the enormous gap between what people write about the music and the experience of actually listening to the music

Football fans being ripped off by extortionate train fares and having to trudge through miles of car parks just to watch a match in a soulless corporate bowl, making themselves complicit in the erasure of decades of football history...oh sorry, I was talking about away matches at MK Dons!

The real test will be whether the National Football Museum gets the craven cottage statue of him out of storage. It's not on display now but it had pride of place 10 years ago

A Top 5 life fear for me these days. I've never even been in a fight, but even in my very low key social life I feel like a spend a lot of time wearily eyeing cunts who could do this

Pulp put "Don't read the lyrics while listening to the album" in their sleeve notes for a reason

She's a legend

Helen Dewitt accepting a no-strings 175k grant from an evil Koch-funded libertarian pro-AI think tank is such a great twist, and from a writer not known for being particularly plot-driven

Didn't even know this existed. Come on Tim, get back on social media and start building that brand again!

People say capitalism has stopped inventing dream jobs, but snag surveyor has to be right up there

Is Kanye West the Helen Dewitt of his age?

I'm sure it's very good, I will read it. The latest HDW did not grab me

Massive club

Only read My Phantoms which I did like a lot and always enjoy her interviews etc, so I should be digging deeper. Obviously I don't blame her doing this idiotic promo for the prize, it just seems very off brand especially when the other winners seem to be incredibly annoying

Helen Dewitt probably the only writer who has managed to enhance their mystique on social media instead of tanking it? Poor Gwendoline Riley skipping straight to the wanking in slurry phase merely by appearing in that ludicrous video to fake cry alongside a bunch of unbearable yank hacks

And nobody is addressing the big question (How come every time you look at the twitter profile of someone who is quite suspect, she's the one 'follower you know')

God forbid someone try to have a laugh on here without using 2011 'weird twitter' cadence 🙄

It's a messy job but there's nothing like the sight of a bush treated with a nice thick layer of muckers mulch

An acre is the amount of land that can be worked by a man in one day, so on that basis my garden is approx 1000 acres

I wouldn't exactly say I'm "on here" yet but certainly becoming gradually more present

Yeah I saw a proper gardener using one and got proper envy

Was actually thinking about getting a cordless lawnmower but now it looks like Zach Polanski's barmy army will literally pay me to run a petrol mower 24/7 I'm uncertain

You don't get this nonsense from the community minded folk at Gtech. I know where I'll be getting my cordless appliances from now on, and with an exclusive discount for Brentford fans they've never been better value #ad #spon

Forgemasters and Unique 3 djing tonight. Bleep techno will rise again!

All observing the local folk customs this weekend aren't we