It’s been getting harder and harder to cope with depression. Therapy won’t work. Medication won’t work. Nothing works…

A place where I don’t feel like I’m a bother and just taking up space?

But I wonder, will it be better for me to move out and create a family and a home where everyone cares for each other as deeply as I wholeheartedly wish for?

A family where we may not have everything and live paycheck to paycheck but we’re always doing things together happily?

I’ve been reading ‘House of the Sun,’ and the female MC is pulling some strings that I never thought existed…

I mean, logically, I don’t have anything to complain about. I no longer pay for rent to live in my own home, I have everything handed on a silver platter…

I always thought I was happy in my home but recently I’ve been realizing I’ve been wanting more. Is it selfish of me to feel like someone’s waiting for me to go home?

I don’t need to tell them where I’m going, they don’t ask when I’m okay or how my art business is going.

Ellipticals are literally the best because what do you mean my 30 minutes of using it equates to 257 calories burned???

This is literally my favorite machine for my deficit, I’m mixing cardio and strength training which makes me stay at the gym for like 2 hours LOL

🍊 self-portrait!
#art #digitalart #selfportrait #illustration

ART IDEA ALERT!! OWOOASOASOAOAAA i'm gonna draw my ipad, a love letter to my ipad, from my the ipad user, drawn on the ipad, for the ipad

I'm gonna put stickers on my case, let it age, let everything age. I don't want anything new anymore.

I don't believe that things carry bad energy, they just carry history. I want things that have age, history, and story to tell. I'd love to imagine how something came to the thrift and into my hand

I also appreciate my broken phone case. It has stuck with me for almost 2 years until I had to replace it recently. Have I thrown it away? Not yet, I'm still thinking about it.

The case still looks fine to me. Chipped on all corners, yellowing to the gods, but altogether? Tells its own adventures.

The case was no longer shimmery white. It's now a weird combination between white, gray, and yellow. Darker in areas where I often rubbed it with my hands, accidentally dropped it while reading in our garden, rub it has from being inside my bag, and just from being loved.

The markings shows history that I never would've given mind to. So, I washed off the soap on the case, I stopped the running water, and I dried the case off and placed it back on my iPad with all of its imperfections.

I love that it aged. I loved that it had its own story and adventures with me.

As I was cleaning it, I noticed a crucial detail on why it aged. I brought it everywhere with me.

To the gym, to the corner of the house I wouldn't find myself remembering, outside when I ate my first subway, when I got a haircut, when I first entered the gym, etc.

I bought a white iPad case recently, it was fairly expensive for me. It was $20 but since the iPad mini costs more than that, I thought it was worth the investment.

Until I realized that the case, 2 weeks into its shelf life, was already showing age and I tried cleaning it.

I've been noticing that the more the world, or society rather, chases perfection. I've been allowing myself to brace age, imperfections, holes in my clothes, and wear and tear.

It feels like capitalism made us focus too much on perfectionism rather than embracing history.

im back again

🍇🍃✨
#sketch #illustration

cheeboko n fries