The saddest part about taking yesterday off was that NOT ONE PERSON thought I was raptured…

They all just assumed I was just some sick slut!

Absolutely not

I’ll never get over the time I told a man I was sleeping with that he looked like a sexy Patton Oswalt and we never hooked up again 💀™️

I guess at this point we should all be grateful Ryan Murphy has ruined most of his relationships with Black Actors OTHERWISE we would most certainly have had a terrible Crime Story season about MLK

My friends, I fear that BlackPink IS in fact in my area and they won’t let me leave

Happy Birthday!!

I’m not religious, I just think I’m funny

🎶 What it is God, what’s up?
🎶 Every Sinner needs Christ’s love
🎶 Sending prayers to heaven up above
🎶 When we fall down, the Lord will pick us up

#christbops #definitelystoned

Been having weird days at work, but a woman I’ve never met before just gave me a taco and that’s what it’s all about folks

Me in a red long-sleeved shirt and black pants, smiling, with a hand in front of my crotch

Slutty Bathroom Found at Work

A holographic Lucario EX

Look at my son!

My slutty lil Lucario

A slutty lil tinkaton ex

A slutty lil wigglytuff

A slutty lil meowscarada

Don’t mind me, just showing off some kids

An athletic enough looking black man taking a selfie in a gym mirror. He wears white/pink running shoes, white socks, short black shorts, a grey a-shirt, and a pink hat.

I’m trying really hard to be a thick boy and I can only see in in mirrors that are far away…

A weedle with potential!

A need that’s gonna hurt my opponents energy

Never seen him before but I love himz

This pawmot is way too adorable

I keep forgetting about this app, but here are a few of my new Pokékids

It only took 8 years, but I finally found a place that serves Egg Foo Young in LA

(I forgot to look)

THIS!

Happy birthday you wonderful man!

Lmao, the way I just reheated my salmon in the work microwave and fled!

I didn’t want people to know I was THAT guy….

I think every job should have a silent dance room where you can just put on headphones and jam out for a lil bit

This is basically all I need to know

a close up of a bald man with a beard and mustache looking up at the sky . Alt: a close up of a Tupac Shakur looking up at the sky while processing life.

Yknow that feeling when you’re going to the bathroom and lay down the toilet seat cover before pulling down your pants and the automatic toilet flushes it all down before you can even sit…?

I hate that this is me 🫠

Got some new kids today!

I know and it kills me

Got some cuties on today’s morning commute!

I have eaten chalk; so while I agree the texture leaves much to be desired, the flavor palette is completely different

Mind you I’m only 35 and love samples be it musically or at Costco/TJs

My 25yo coworker hates that every song nowadays is a sample…

Child— you haven’t been alive long enough to hear or know what’s actually being used 😤

Oh it’s a good morning!

Just passed a mirror, we’re all good!