For the middle of the afternoon, eyes glazed over, staring at the computer crowd!

Nope, nope, not biting.

Not going to disagree with anything here. You can't trick me into it.

I can picture the art for this without even trying.

Never tell anyone they're wrong on the internet. Not even if they're saying "Charlie Brown had hoes." Walk away with your hands in your pockets. Breathe deeply. Go into a bar and order a whisky. So he didn't have hoes; the facts say otherwise. It's not worth your life.

I thought it was good to know that whatever I did at an airport, someone out there was sniffing at it contemptuously and muttering, "This is a skills issue!"

If you want to swim out
Swim like a trout
Cocaine
If you want to come on
Like a salmon
Cocaine

No small fry
No small fry
No small fry
Cocaine

Un mécanicien regarde sous un capot de voiture où se trouve un bordel sans nom fait de touches de piano, de marionnettes, trompettes, un hamster dans une roue et autres objets en vrac. Il dit à son client: "Il est là, votre problème: le dessinateur n'a pas la moindre idée d'à quoi ressemble l'intérieur d'une voiture."

Un autre @ellisjrosen.bsky.social que j'adore.

patriots, hold onto your piss

The subject line from an email I received: I'm a bad girl and I need to be punished.

How did this become my responsibility?

"I facilited this with every means at my disposal. But I'm on record as knowing it would destroy millions of lives while doing nothing about that, so we're all good, right?"

Writing tip: Make the perfect the enemy of the good. Then it's way hotter when they fuck at the end of the book.

Aerial view of large scale devastation inflicted on the southern Lebanese town of Bint Jbeil, with an Israeli tank parked in the center of the photo.

This is what Israel has done to Bint Jbeil, my hometown in southern Lebanon

incredible exchange here, this website has the juice

In another stunning development...

How kind of you! I will think about it …

Thank you!

Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. Bring a knife to a gun wedding. When it's time for the gun bride and groom to cut the cake, step forward and graciously offer them your knife. You are now a gun friend. No need to carry knives. All the guns will have your back.

Thanks, Dave! I feel a lot better for the cleanse, but it's nice to be back.

my 2011 ford galaxy could have done it in about five minutes

Ah, thank you! It's good to see all the old people!

When a sperm whale was asked to confirm this, he first lied, then when pressed, blamed it on someone else.

Hey! Yeah, it's nice to be back.

Yesterday I called my husband to say, "I think I've begun to like Wagner, in case you were wondering if I could be a worse roommate."

Don't bring a knife to a gunfight. Bring a knife to a vault containing many wheels of cheese in a brutalized postapocalyptic society where knives are only a legend. You are now Knifebringer, Divider of the Cheese. Raise your knife and rule the clans.

CHARLIE BROWN: Yes mistress, you're right, mistress, I'm a blockhead! a hopeless blockhead!

DOMINATRIX: wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah wah

I’ll never forget watching The Wicker Man with my outer Hebridean mum. “I just don’t know where there got all that wicker from”

driving somewhere w my niece when she was 5-ish, we slowed on a back road to let a chicken cross & i asked her why the chicken crossed the road

“i don’t know,” she said, “i don’t live here”

*pecking manically at the martini and splashing martini all over my feathers*

If I was a chicken, I would cross that road. Dunno why. It just feels right.