I’ve got some verses to contribute

…once the Prednisone kicks in.

I watched 30 seconds of the Nine Inch Noize Coachella set. That’s enough to know the forthcoming collab record will be fantastic.

Someone needs to call in to Fox & Friends tomorrow and rant about how the Pope refused to send a Swiss Guard carrier strike group to the Gulf of Oman…

For me, that moment really solidified that Joy is a real one.

“Inside You There Are Two Outlooks.”

Did Elon just Streisand Effect himself?

This is a 10/10. 🤣

Bra-fuckin’-vo. 👏🏻

I just lost the game.

Those are good burgers, Walter.

“What are the best and worst Morrissey lyrics?”

But instead it’s Alf saying “And my hog!”

Ah, fuck. All he’s going to talk about is how he was the first Pope to graduate from Yale.

We must first confuse and disorient them...

By putting them on pizza.

He believes that the scheduled “Daily Briefs” refer to his mid-morning underwear change.

[JD Vance has entered the chat]

The fruit that bites back.

I’ve been too afraid to ask but I’m doing it anyway…

What color shirt is everyone wearing for Power Plant and Bridge Day? I don’t want to feel left out.

There’s a spot where the East Wing once stood that would be the perfect venue for such a spectacle.

“Sharty Time, *Not* Excellent!” 🎸 🎶 🎶

Can we draw and quarter his corpse, just to be sure?

Mix in commentary on rampant overconsumption, widespread use of non-recyclable materials in the shipping and logistics industries, fast fashion as wasteful and disposable garbage, climate change wreaking havoc on weather patterns…

This would be the best time to make that movie.

Tom Hanks is the perfect guy to help conservative men realize that their rigid stance on gender normative behavior doesn’t need to be set in stone.

What’s cooler than being cool?

-208° Fahrenheit at night.

Crew: “All we’re hearing is bullshit… I think the toilet may be broken again and we need to go take care of that immediately.” *click*

Fuck, I was really hoping they were launching him in to orbit to dock with Artemis II…

…with no working toilet or means to communicate with anyone.

a man in a suit says that 's how dad did it in front of mountains Alt: a man in a suit says that 's how dad did it in front of mountains

This, but not.

I’ve been too afraid to ask but I’m doing it anyway…

What color shirt is everyone wearing for Power Plant and Bridge Day? I don’t want to feel left out.