Hey there my favorite NJ zombie

Me, a spy, approaching a man on a park bench with a newspaper

Me: What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?

Man: I think I remember the film

Me: As I recall, I think we both kind of liked it

Man: Well that's one thing we got

Me: Here are your stolen nuclear codes and your receipt. Have a great day!

It was this

You'll never guess what's below the fold

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a derp

Am I allowed to wear clothes if I'll still hate the way I look? Go for it

Why is the distance between the surface of the hot coffee and the sippy hole in the lid the scariest half inch in the world?

Yellow dog encounters the mounted head of a bighorn sheep discarded by a dumpster on a Philadelphia sidewalk

Them: it's so hard as an adult to meet new friends in Philly

My dog:

Tariffs are ivermectin for the economy

Hey Thistle

It's a little funny

You want me to send you links?

You can still find them over there, if you wanted to check in once a week

Hey bird

Just poppin over for a minute

When your nonstick pans lose their nonstickiness, you may wonder: where did it go?

Here's the beautiful thing. Just like the Greatest Love of All, it's inside of you!

Yes! Indeed but joyous

I have 🤣

Hell yeah you did!

I had my first Dalessandro's cheesesteak in about 20 yrs tonight and it was like something you would feed a god if that god were Rocky Balboa in a Dawkins Jersey flying Ben Franklin's kite tied to the keys to the Phanatic's quad bike

#Eagles by 30!!!

GO BIRDS!!!! 🦅🦅🦅🏈🏈🏈🦅🦅

Me: <looks away, turns slowly back, wide-eyed like I've never seen her before> LOST CHILD! DOES ANYBODY KNOW THIS CHILD? ARE THE PARENTS OF THIS CHILD PRESENT?

8yo elbow to the ribs, and...scene

My almost-9yo is just starting to get embarrassed by me in public. The other day we're at the taco place, and my presence is making her squeamish.

8: Daaad....

Me: You want me to pretend I don't know you?

8: Yes!

1/2

School District of Philadelphia not really giving victory vibes here. C'mon SDP, parents need to hit Broad Street!
#FlyEaglesFly

Pretty! Thank you

I braved it. It's fine in West Philly

Take pictures

Is it pretty?

#Philly, I'm too lazy to put my clothes on if the sidewalks are still icy. Anyone been out there?

Funny thing. I remember my future wife being disappointed in my jacket. I guess she got over it. Maybe she just settled

GOP has me so broken that I want to see video of an old man falling down the stairs. Help me be decent again America, please...