I just watched 28 Years Later and The Bone Temple. 28 Years was just ok, Bone Temple was *so incredibly weird* and was much better for it

I have the song Sail by awolnation stuck in my head. thoughts and prayers appreciated

*tapping the sign again*

arrive early to the airport? arrive late? it doesn’t really matter as long as you aren’t Winnie the Pooing it

see also: pretending to take them to jail if they giggle

I once talked to a woman who said "why would I drill a well when the water comes down the mountain for free" and I took the rest of the day off

the "4 and 20 blackbirds baked in a pie" guy was, you guessed it, completely stoned

Glass Joe at his day job

I see.

as it turns out, I’m not far from one of his houses

just saw a dead seal

once again I will point out that YOU were the one to share the horse fucking article

this Mrs. Echo and I’m very confused. He told me he was going parasailing

huh. I would think getting it up your ass in the first place would be the harder part

pretty sure that’s orc flesh

I was about to send the world’s greatest post but didn’t, since I can’t see any noteys. look what they’ve taken from you

dba The King & Queen Of Porking

I hope you go to jail for this one

people please: if you’re going to form an LLC with your spouse or business partner, don’t make the name some dumbass combination of your initials. pick a real fucking word

Bluesky: The Little Site That Couldn't

curséd Ted Cruz adolescent

and that man was RFK jr

well this just came on so you know what that means:

time to slice the space garlic with a lightsaber

god DAMN

no chain wallet? pass

and don’t forget the important corollary, Dogs With Their Heads Sticking Out Of The Sunroof

one time when I was in university studying in the library there was a little hole in the drywall with an arrow that said “in here” and I looked in the hole and there was a folded up piece of paper that said “in here” and when I unfolded the paper a bunch of pubes fell out and it said “pubes”

PLAY RIGHT BACK TO IT

but we just did

PLAY IT AGAIN

no need. I do it for the love of the game

*opening palms* please sir. May I have some steely dan