Did Becky think she looked like one of those rap guys’ girlfriends

I've always been a card-carrying Earth supporter, but I've decided I'm switching allegiances

The queen of people’s farts 🥹

Enough of this l’eau self esteem

John Howard made Australia a target for terrorism by illegally invading Iraq & contributing to the rise of ISIS who went on to radicalise the Bondi attackers. He should apologise to Jewish Australians, and all Australians. #auspol

Sleigh, queen

This should become something that happens on every train in Melbourne’s Metro Tunnel, forever

This is excellent news Bec!

One time as kids my cousin and I spent a day snapping twigs to just the right length to fit in a jar. The plan was to trade the jar full of twigs for a horse and cart. Sounds stupid, I know, but we never filled the jar, so the real loser is the guy who didn’t get to offload his old horse and cart

Do what I did, cut up the credit card and return to paying with sexual favours

Also, kill the chicken

I’m guessing your wife is also transferring to digital

Disappointing

Come on Shaddup You Face #1 #hottest100

Huge sighs of relief at the Erin Patterson verdict from fictional Asian grocers in Oakleigh, Clayton, or Mount Waverley, or possibly Glen Waverley #mushroomtrial

Lions beaten by the clock. With a bit more time they could have kicked six more behinds. #aflcrowslions #afl

Refreshing the Age website with bated breath to find out what the Pope’s death means for coastal property prices

Sometimes it’s a challenge to mentally separate intrusive news site advertising from the surrounding copy

If there’s a Boche shell in your hedgerow, don’t be alarmed now

It’s a multi-storey car park now, such are the multitudes who followed in the footsteps of my dreams, I guess

I enjoyed this piece, Tom. I have been quietly fascinated by the phenomenon of desire lines ever since I claimed to have pioneered one in my neighbourhood when I was a wee lad.

Rookie error. You never actually check for the monster. Just verbally reassure the child, close the door, and put on your headphones. Babysitting 101

I’m guessing one of them hasn’t learned his name

A baby fascist shows an idiot fascist his little car

When your dad feels sorry for the lack of interest you're getting at the tee-ball fundraiser so he makes a show of buying from your cookie stand

Turns out I maybe shouldn’t have used emojis to ask my neighbour if her cat would be OK with a fruit and veg tortilla

My dedicated philatelic Bluesky has three times as many followers as my normal me Bluesky and I am personally offended

Most importantly, something that exposes Advance’s tactics in the eyes of their own target market

New game: Hashtag Eureka. Be the first person to use an established hashtag on here.

(I just accidentally did it in a niche field and I feel bad because I rarely took part over there. Unworthy.)

“Why do I find it hard to write the next line? Oh, I want the postcode numbers to fit inside the little squaaaaares”