me: we should try tantrum sex

her: you mean “tantric”?

me: *stomping foot* NO

Not good old Johnny Mechanic, the man with an alternate universe gangster name.

The inside of a cigar box, with relief letters carved backward in the bottom that say, "THE FACT THAT SPRING'S GLORY COMES EVERY YEAR BUT CAPITALISM PERSISTS PROVES WE ARE IRREDEEMABLE"

A print with a red flower and the phrase described in the first picture in green, but the words are hard to read because the block was inadequately inked.

I carved a second layer on the inside of the box but failed to consider that carving all the way to the edges would make it impossible to ink adequately.

A cigar box with a relief of a flower carved into the top, and a relief print of that flower, red ink on green paper, beside it.

Cigar box block print

Yoga? Sure. But that guy is clearly breakdancing.

I did not stage this. I just found it in Mailén's otherwise clean room.

An April 20, 2026, 10:16 AM post from Donald Trump saying "Israel never talked me into the war with Iran, the results of Oct. 7th, added to my lifelong opinion that IRAN CAN NEVER HAVE A NUCLEAR WEAPON, did. I watch and read the FAKE NEWS Pundits and Polls in total disbelief. 90% of what they say are lies and made up stories, and the polls are rigged, much as the 2020 Presidential Election was rigged. Just like the results in Venezuela, which the media doesn’t like talking about, the results in Iran will be amazing - And if Iran’s new leaders (Regime Change!) are smart, Iran can have a great and prosperous future! President DJT" "The results of Oct. 7th" is highlighted

Results of baseball playoff games from 10/7/23: Diamondbacks 11 Dodgers 2 Phillies 3 Braves 0 Twins 4 Astros 6

"The results of Oct. 7th"

OWN YOUR PUNS. INTEND THEM.

Totally new meaning for "stepping on Legos."

Some large springs discarded on the sidewalk

It's spring time in Hartford

I'm weeks past that point, to be honest

It's weird to make three boarding calls for a train but the train hasn't arrived for any of them.

After-hours strip club in a historic Hartford home:
Mark Twain House --> Twerk Main House

And now we may once again see the Senga - Senger Battery, a tribute to the evolving rhoticity of New York accents.

Uplifting true story to get us through these hard times: I bought three unripe avocados and managed to remember to keep an eye on them and then eat them as they each became ripe over the course of four days. Dreams do come true.

Evergreen skeet.

Forget spending. They should be doing better because they're my team and I deserve joy.

We (Paki)Stan a Pun King

That tracks. Blow was the secret of the '86 Mets' success.

Have we considered just turning the Mets off and then turning them back on?

It was the Answer 1 "New Move" ad, but no.

What actually kind of impresses me is how, when they're about to fall backward, they can backpedal without falling for a startling distance. I need to work on that skill.

I wish they would put that AI in everything. Like, remember that Reebok ad for his sneakers that shows him just dribbling, and he's doing the voiceover and he's like, "First, I'ma take you to my right; then I'ma go left..." and whatever else he said? I want my GPS to sound like that.

Like, we have hundreds of hours of footage of the ne plus ultra of bipedal grace and mobility, but they got these robots moving like half-sized George Muresans.

Honestly, what they need to do is integrate AI into those robots' movements, but not Artificial Intelligence; Allen Iverson. Science should just be devoting all its energy to a robot that can't get crossed up by Iverson in his prime. Download all the videos, do some complex modeling, figure it out.

If I were the designer of all those robots on blooper reels, falling down and flailing around, I would make some kind of kill switch wired to a spirit level, so when they were horizontal they would stop freaking out and wait calmly for help, as I do.

This part.

Every time Schumer says something about his commitment to Israel, it’s not that I want to defend him, but it is def that I wish I could put Schumer in the Boomer Reform Jew context that so that all of you who don’t know Boomer Reform Jews could at least understand what he thinks he is saying.

Build the team around ancient sorcery, for all I care.

This is one of the best situational puns of my career, in my humble opinion.