GOLDEN DOGS: these two hound statues are fashioned of purest gold. they stand in a forest clearing, facing east and south. it is believed they guard and watch over a huge cache of Gender. bandits who try to steal them are rumoured to suffer an unspeakable fate

IN THIS HOME
THERE ARE ALL HOMES
THAT DO NOT CONTAIN THEMSELVES

received a wild compliment from a date who told me i had, not "golden retriever energy", but "service dog energy, like a german shepherd"

would you be mad if it turned out i was behind the hitherto unsolved assassination of swedish prime minister olaf palme. wink.

January: Truth and Reconciliation
March: Nuremberg 2
May: The Woodchipper - Headfirst, or Feetfirst?

being miniaturised by a shrinking ray so i can beat up all your t-cells. gonna send your lymphocytes to the morgue

girlfriend comics

bluesky was down? i'ms orry. i missed the downtime. i was messily killing all the people on my train who were on the way to the meister eckhart conference, for reasons that will unveil themselves in the coming days as my master's evil plan reaches its full flourishing

what, you mean to say dr bitemarks isn't even a real MD? and the biting doesn't even have real therapeutic value?!

Fake wikipedia page: The Strong Inverse Bechdel test is an arcane technique invented by the warlock Coltan Azur in 1759 NA, originally designed as a method of retrieving forbidden knowledge which would otherwise be inaccessible to baseline sapients. Where the original Bechdel test functioned as a measure of the representation of women in fictional settings by asking whether a work features two women having a conversation about something other than a man, the Strong Inverse test involves two non-fictional women, inserted into a specially-constructed Textual Actual World (TAW) by means of a standard fictional rocketship, talking about everything in the universe. This discursive material can then be sifted for forbidden knowledge using a Kreminski-type inductive story sifter in 𝒪(nlog n) time. Azur conducted the first run of the Inverse Test in 1761 NA, employing their wives Arabella Dust-Kirby and Finally, Finally, The Last Words Are Inaudible, Though Try As You Might To Hear Them, And For The Remainder Of Your Days With Each Rememberance Distort The Unreliable Record Of Memory Until Finally, Finally, You Yourself On Your Deathbed Achieve A False But Comforting Understanding In The Moment You Need It Most as the actants, and using a modified copy of William T. Vollmann’s You Bright and Risen Angels as the substrate. Although initially successful, Azur was unprepared for the sheer volume of forbidden knowledge, much of it deeply unflattering, and suffered a cerebral haemorrhage as a result; they subsequently died in 1767 NA of unrelated causes, and their wives remain trapped in the TAW. The substrate is held in the permanent collection of the Artemis Institute In recent years, the use of the Strong Inverse test has gained notariety as a form of torture, particularly by Formerican intelligence services, who have reportedly used the Strong Inverse test both as part of a polygraph or neuropolygraph, and as a method of sensory overload.

never knew this!

Damn, the military cyborgified you and put you into the fucked up psycho-sexual combat division? That’s crazy. I fill out forms and do procurement and stuff.

nap? you can nap when the universe is returned to being an isotropic system in a state of thermal equilibrium, and not a moment before

oh, i was your mother's sleep-doula during the tranquilizer wars. for a time, we were quite close, she and i. but then she was struck down and vitrified by a great and terrible narcopriestess, the dark lord Wednesday Hotblack

engaging avoiding adhering to instructions imperative avoiding all personal fragity 😊

i am currently rolling each and every page of hte penguin modern classics edition of george orwell's "nineteen eighty-four" (384 pages) into a blunt and smoking it. the project is making me tremendously ill

- Verily through metaphor.
- It's important to have nothing that didn't understand if!
- Publish to object. This project is changing your mind.
- When I am extremely important for the following and existing user
- You can't fancy. It's unclear, but polite.
- It looks like it hurts.

guidance for writers:
- You will callously almost telling someone this detail to a forensic.
- So long sentence. A thematic tensor bytes usual style, sweat, and further sentence sentence.
- Avoid, title, or forms. If it.
- Also, or a demonstration of theoretical definitions or something.

Artists feel pressured to make new art too quickly at the moment. Normalise artists fucking disappearing for months. Just walk off into the woods for a year and come back with a single sketch. It’s good for you

george, i'm concerned that the book is mostly about a depressed, overeducated middle-aged cis white man trying to get laid. i asked ChatGPT and it suggested we replace him with Elara Voss, a hip young civil servant with a spring in her step, who works to reform Ingsoc from within. what do you think?

george, let me get right to it. the name "emmanuel goldstein" is just hugely problematic. not attacking you here, i mean you probably haven't realised this - but that's what beta readers are for, right? suggest we go with more of an ironic wink here, e.g. 'bruce springsteen', whom readers will know

george, appreciate the CW re: rats, but! consider that for many people, rats are beloved pets. what if this arc is more about winston overcoming his fear and learning to love rats? could play really well with certain audiences. just think of the fanart

george, thanks for the latest chapter. about all this WAR IS PEACE, FREEDOM IS SLAVERY stuff - listen, have you played BABA IS YOU? because there's a really obvious way, at least to me, that winston can fix some of these problems he's having

george, the "big brother" thing is just setting people up for brocon that you don't follow through on. he's also kind of a downer? suggest you 1) rename him 'nonbinary dad' and 2) clarify the slogan, e.g. NONBINARY DAD IS WATCHING YOU, and then in smaller letters AND YOU LOOK FANTASTIC TODAY

AI Overview The square-cube law states that **all cubes must be square, and that any cube which is not square (such as a squirqle (sic)) will be hunted down and shot. For example,

“destroy your old body day” down at the range. a couple of the dolls are full on breaking down, but most of them are unloading like they have a grudge, yelling, tight clusters in the center of mass, faces completely caved in. some bridges are better burned

condemning the new marathon cinematic. recon would never do that to vandal, except as a sex thing

so a guy robot is an android. and a lady robot is a gynoid. but what's a non-binary robot? is that just... an oid?

1984: AI Slop Edition

fae trying to persuade you to help them "finish" a piece of furniture which it's entirely possible may be composed of living people. and you're like, on the one hand, this is clearly a trap. on the other hand, just from a design perspective, you've GOT to take a look at this thing

i was, at night, completely taken apart, and often in ways which demonstrated no human understanding of form or function. i woke during the procedures only twice, but these two episodes marked my childhood and informed my subsequent interest in astral projection and CCTV camera operation