I thought I picked up the originals and they’d gone off. Absolutely cursed

Worst day of my life

(Accidentally bought hot honey flavoured Jaffa cakes)

Oh my god just blow the whistle now. This game has been like going out for a nice stroll and getting caught without an umbrella when it starts pissing it down

Solicitors too. Get ded

Here’s an idea: nuke estate agents. Six years in my gaff and half my equity will get eaten up by their fees

Drew Uzbekistan in the World Cup sweepstake at work. Going to ask for a refund

The new season of Beef isn’t beefy enough

I really don’t need therapy, I just need five days in Italy

When I was a boy I used to dream of heady European nights in Nottingham

Bologna must be sick of the sight of us

I’ve been doing sit ups for a week now and my tummy hurts

Hope that goal has sorted out Ezri’s head. Tough seeing him get turned inside out like a Mad Magazine fold in

That first A Perfect Circle album really still goes hard

Sometimes in a man’s life he has to decide whether to drop £150 on some Double RL denim because it actually represents a solid investment

Where can a guy go for vintage watches in London. Or knock offs, I don’t really care

4 real I was in a cafe and pink pony club came on and this woman grabbed her child and ran out

Have you ever seen Chappell Roan and Pennywise in the same room?

You can go on any post announcing Chuck Norris’ death and see exactly what the internet was like 15 years ago

You’d love it. The Red City!

Bologna: The city that holds my secrets now The man sat next to me on the plane has his legs spread so wide I can smell his balls. I’m resisting the urge to nudge him in the arm to…

Ever since I read this from @steviegreen.bsky.social has made Bologna a city I have to visit someday.

Some magazines come up with the worst poetry themes. What do you meeeean “equivocation” is a prompt, what do you meeeean “Antarctica” is a prompt. Give me something I can use

Paloma Diamond snubbed again. This is bullshit

I’d do anything for this to be real

My dad just ended a phone call by telling me to keep my pecker up 😳

Double whammy of a thumbs up emoji and “simple”

Watching Sinners for the first time. Great so see they finally cast Michael A Jordan in something

Don’t trust anyone who pronounces it you-knee-klow