The Thing on the Doorstep

Why italy doesnt have a space program

Putting the "Ohhh! 🤌🤌" in AOC.

Don't panic, you're already dead, the pain is over, and this trickster spirit is here to guide you to the afterlife.

I'm making my first birthday cake from my mum' Australian Women's Weekly cookbook for the older kid's birthday tonight.

He put the "cum mutant" in primivite accumulation

What if we built the entire cabinet out of Norfolk?

Skill issue!

The outright rebuke of Alex Jones's evil is important, yes, but more importantly, it is soooooooo funny.

Star Trek The Original Series scene. We're in a CORRIDOR! A room door is open, and we see two crewmen spilling out into the hallway in red and blue uniforms. They are otherwise indecipherable tho because they are entirely enveloped in a big cloud of smoke. It's pouring out all around them and into the hallway area, like there's a Phish concert in there. Closed caption reads, "[COUGHING]"

Hitler u stink

It comes with a thick and creamy yogurt from Kroger, which i call Krogurt!

Bashfully approaching Richard Page after a show: so... is there a Mrs. Missus Mr. Mister?

Man, country, washed.

It wasnt. It was a gross bug

What happened to the other guy, Centipede?

"The Boys Are Back In Town" playing in doo-doo doo-doo-do-dooo jingling

Dads: "hot dogs! Hot dogs!! Honey honey can we get hot dogs?!?!"

"Liar Liar Pants on Fire/
You burnin up like David Koresh"

Forget the myths the media's created about Marvel Studios.

reskort if ur tummy hort

I am way to tired to do my taxes this year. Maybe i just need to give myself some grace

Sid, you cannot be looking that much like a yorkshire ham and be calling other people like Mr. Met a self-hating jew

The only acceptable choice is to purge rapists and sex pests without remorse. These people are who they are. They never change.

I have to renew my fucking mortgage this month bluesky, don't you start with with "rate limits" too

Look this is white people we're talking about.

If i was president, i would pledge to create 20,000 new popes for working americans by 2027.

Speaking as someone who 100% supports MAID, some of the groups who were the charter supporters, like the BCCLA iirc, are raising concerns that it is being offered (some will say "aggresively") to people for whom it is not appropriate (implicitly, to save costs and resources.)

I assume someone received a lot of stock options first, like when Kodak "pivoted to crypto" and then "pivoted to drug manufacturing"?

This “-maxxing” and “-mogging” stuff comes from an ugly place and has never been particularly funny. But what about if *I* adopt it, but ironically,

lots of 20 year old Nazis died of- or while on- amphetamines. It's sort of their "thing"