🎀🎀🎀 that’s right

oh noooo I pulled it out

worst relationship ever!!!

I’m always the whore except for one time and I HATED it

well I certainly won’t be adorning YOUR messages

absolutely traumatizing

cracker barrel challenge on top chef oh FUCKKKK yes

wait same!!!

I use 🎀🎀🎀

I never spoke to her again!

my partner for model un in hs told the people in charge of our committee that it was my birthday and an entire room full of 300 strangers sang happy birthday to me in February (my birthday is 7/11)

does anyone want to fund a life for me that is carefree and enjoyable

do you know the words to “rock yo hips” by crime mob or did you grow up uncultured?

you NEED to. It’s an emergency!

see this is why my day went to shit

both of you throw me into a pile of love pls

persisting but I must wonder at what cost

AWOOGA AWOOGA 🥵

he has to divorce his husband first smh

so honored to get a “I hope I see you at the next party” message from the guy with a perfect dong

can we all agree dudes who bring their lunch to work in big ass coolers are doing too much

you have GREAT hands 🥵

I’ve just never experienced anything like this

I’m so sick of sharing a space with antisocial freaks omg this girl yelled at me for talking too loudly two weeks ago but is in here SINGING ALONG TO MUSIC AT HER DESK

thinking about oomf’s huge hands

thinking about the veggie burger I had last night omggggggg

THATLL WORK

oomf locked out abroad? Be back next week

can one of you have an emergency that requires me to leave work? don’t wanna do it today

wait I like this one more sorry