let's make a cultural value judgment: palantir are a bunch of execrable fascist shitheads and their ideas go against the basis of every civilized country on earth, from which they should be extirpated like the intellectual cancer they are

I'm going to let Doordash Grandma answer that question. Doordash Grandma, what do you think?

Look, I don't want my wife to jump out of an airplane. How many times do I need to say it?

Coming to a CMX-3 zoned lot near you

why is the camera feed showing me a bunch of sad italians when there are 15,000 bosnians going nuts right next to them

Akron, OH?

The Bourne Identity (2002) / The Hidalgo Legacy (2026)

Screenshot of the Troy vs. Nebraska March Madness matchup

Me trying to remember Duncan Idaho's name

MLS teams by 2026 regular season minutes played by their CCC starting XI tonight:

Vancouver: 3231
Nashville: 2964
San Diego: 2476
Miami: 2426
Seattle: 2135
Philadelphia: 2035

Six MLS teams in CCC action tonight. The only one that didn’t start their best XI or something very close to it is the Union. Bradley Carnell 👍

Cavan Sullivan got consecutive starts against the biggest club in North America and it is somehow clearly disrespectful to him. No one is doing it like Bradley Carnell

Just walked past a packed bar with a U.S. Open Cup game on the only tv

They're going to let this guy work in MLS again

And sub in Bedoya (who is still pretty good) over Cavan in what is increasingly looking like a lost season

o/u 4.5 games before Ndinga gets a start at winger

Why didn’t Union talisman Indiana Vassilev take that?

Ramses Sandoval is one of MLS’s weirdest guys and has been for a very long time now

A photo of a bookshelf featuring Going Rogue by Sarah Palin and Living History by Hillary Clinton

Sarah Palin’s memoir is on display in the Union’s stadium for some reason?

What’s the point of signing two massive forwards who suck at soccer if you’re not going to park them in the box and hoof it to them the entire game

Coach of the Year Bradley Carnell

Pretty funny to watch the Union abandon hoofball for the first time in more than a year against a Club América team that stopped playing 20 minutes in

Cavan & Iloski were the most dangerous players for the Union in the first half, so of course Carnell pulled Cavan at half.

It should also be expected that replacing your veteran strikers with a 20-year-old hold-up merchant won’t yield great results

Alladoh may end up being one of the worst Union signings of all time. I don’t think this is an overreaction

What does this mean for sneaker prices? Am I going to have to walk barefoot to the subway?

He’s stuck behind the coach’s son unfortunately

Worst xG+xA/96 among Union attackers going back to 2013. Third-worst g+/96 in the same timeframe. What does this guy do?

Quote from Indiana Vassilev in a glowing profile by the Inquirer: “I mean, I would love to say that I’m a goal scorer and I get a lot of assists, [but] that’s just not really what I do,” said Vassilev. “I’m just trying to get in dangerous areas and progress the play. We have guys who are very, very good at it, guys like [midfielder] Quinn [Sullivan], who score absolute bangers, and put it away. That’s not my role, and I’m OK with that.”

I would love to say that I’m not the worst Union attacker in recent memory, but I am. Do I do other things well? Not really.

Union left back Ben Bender 👍

Whoever is running the Union spent $2m+ on Anello and he’s worse than Cavan Sullivan