Closeup of a vintage tile floor circa 1910 using square and rectangle tiles.

i think i want to be a decommissioned lighthouse when i grow up

Presumably because of the storms, the lights in this Brown Line car keep flickering off for 3-5 seconds at a time and now I realize that the thing I want most in this life is to ride the el home at night in the pitch darkness

This is tomorrow! ⛔🧊⛔

The Artist's Tour Page: 8pm Show
Me: 😀
The Ticketing page: 8pm Show
Me: 😀
The Confirmation Email: 8pm Show
Me: 😀
The Venue: Actually, 8pm Doors
Me: 🙂
The Venue: 9pm Show
Me: 😐
The Venue: 2 openers, btw
Me: ⚰️

This resonates

Friends also tend to talk to you like a friend

NYT Spelling Bee does not accept "babylice"

Ridiculous omission. Baby lice is a huge problem

My musical tastes tend primarily toward "People who wouldn't want anything to do with me"

Blothar The Berserker Of GWAR Explains How Independent Journalism Is The Only Force As Powerful As GWAR. Subscribe to The Onion at membership.theonion.com.

Long live the institution of the Concrete Porch Goose

a screenshot of a google search for "nearest star" with a pop-up asking if you'd like to "see results closer to you?"

i don't think that'll make the result any more precise, but sure

Big-ass fuckin' truck parked so directly in front of the pedestrian crosswalk that it almost takes your breath away

In case there were any doubt that the size of one's vehicle is directly correlated to one's sense of entitlement

Anecdotally, it feels as though America's vizsla craze has subsided

I think you gestured your way toward it just fine!!! I have to say that tavern style will always be the pizza that tastes most like home, but who doesn't like to travel?

Omar! What an enormous question. Tedious and constant is right. Ultimately, making deep dish and tavern compete with each other is an arbitrary matchup. Do you have favorite styles or let 'em all in the tent?

The "clear formatting" option in Google Docs no longer removes hyperlinks and you couldn't possibly understand how much this is about to change my life

I awaken every day with the humility of knowing that my hand-me-down dollar store single-button 10-cup drip coffee maker will outlive us all

Look I know it's the slightest bit mild outside but WHY IS THE BROWN LINE AIR CONDITIONED

They're so hip and cool I almost can't stand it!!!!

A fascinating look into this mentality. Why do you need to compete with a Fortune 500 company? You are a diner! The number one thing I want to see is photos of YOUR food, not a generic AI burger or your mac and cheese animated beyond recognition

Please keep me in your thoughts. My favorite local wine bar has become an influencer hotspot

oh hell yeah that's the good stuff

a Cool Whip container

POV: you're about to eat the best leftovers of your life

Many people get this wrong! The correct word for putting your body in a horizontal position is "lie." The past tense of that is "lay." What you never get when you point this out is "laid"

04-17-2026 Mortified Chicago

If you have a free night on April 17, consider joining us at Lincoln Hall for Mortified Chicago's first-ever fundraiser: Minnesota Nice, benefitting the Minnesota Immigrant Rights Action Committee. You will laugh and cry and raise money for a cause, which I consider a very efficient evening!

Buddy Christ from Dogma

Rejoice, for He is rizzin'

♫comin' out of my cave and i've been doing just fine
gotta gotta go up because i died for all♪

The Best-Tasting Jelly Beans for Easter, According to Candy Experts We asked people who think about candy way too much for their top picks of Jelly Bean flavors this Easter season. The number one pick may surprise you.

Jelly bean innovation is at its peak, people

I'll never have the self-assuredness of microwaves that immediately launch into a 3-minute cycle when you hit the 3