Dasani on tap

rock & roll is here to stay

i’m learning so much knowledge today

the #1 name for infants born in 2026 is Junior Soprano

when people are sweating heavily they love to say they’re sweating ‘like a pig’ - but to us pigs that’s just normal sweating

Setting the bidet to “kill”

well happy birthday then!

Egg Man YouTube video by Beastie Boys - Topic

"Egg Man" is an Easter song

office depot

Four Poems that Are Hollywood Films Horror mostly.

these are straight up movies. they just happen to be in poem form because I couldn’t pull the funding together to make them conventionally markleidner.substack.com/p/four-poems-that-are-a24-films

Gosford Park (2001)

Gosford World (2015)

Gosford World: Fallen Kingdom (2018)

I was arguably the best cursive writer in the entire second grade

a trapezoid-shaped toilet, a crapezoid

after about a block and a half you realize laughing all the way to the bank is gonna suck

hittin the buffet in full ceremonial garb

like i don’t have enough problems already

it’s so embarrassing to be driving next to the same model/color of car

“you won’t believe the deal i got on this haircut!”

i’m buying a haircut today

imagining a guy trying to make dinner with a leaf blower

I know it's not butter. I just can't 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙚 it.

I have developed the world's first hover car, after months of tireless effort

this new tape i bought is PERFECT for ducts

you just can’t put a value on money like that, ya know?

supper tiiiime
and the eating is eeeaasyyy

don’t pick your nose when you’re riding an ebike please

a white dog stands close to a bench with a plate holding a single onion ring

he wants it, he wants the Precious 😤

The album cover of Steely Dan's "Aja" (1977), but the cover art is modified to instead include the photograph of Elizabeth Berkley from the poster for "Showgirls" (1995, dir. Verhoeven).

This came to me in a dream

why do nerds
suddenly appear
every time
I post here

Chapter 1 of Moby Dick, page 1 The phrase ‘Call me Ishmael’, the first sentence of the book, is highlighted in blue, with careful highlighting on the very big C at the start. Above this, written in ballpoint pen ‘His name’

Love the glimpse into the beautiful mind that notated this used copy of Moby Dick I got