I wish I was a bidet...

I am that friend

A four panel comic strip. An anthropomorphic wolf man runs into an office where three others are working at their desks. He says, "The fire marshal is coming for annual inspections!" In the next panel, a seated wolf is playing with a remote control airplane, and a smoke detector with an open battery compartment is mounted on the wall above him. The first wolf says "Put that 9 volt back in the smoke detector!" In the third panel, an anthropomorphic dog holds a power strip while standing next to a sculpture comprised of multiple power strips. The first wolf says "Hide your..."Daisy Chain Power Strip" sculpture!?" In the fourth panel, a bear proudly displays his t-shirt which reads "I love storing combustibles around radiators." The first wolf, in exasperation, yells "CHANGE YOUR SHIRT!"

If my girlfriend got a Jack Skellington. Im K!//ing myself

Didn't know tongue out Tuesday was a holiday

Make one but good

Went to a gingers house... let's just say there's a reason why Moses talked to a burning bush.

People who need to be executed... People who exclusively use tiktok on website format.

Update: im obsessed again 🥲

(Cats can't eat Alfredo sauce since it contains garlic and other harmful ingredients for their gut. Luckily, my cat only had a small lick...)

My cat loves Alfredo sauce, apparently...

Saw my ex today, and i can confidently say I've gotten over my over obsessive hump, but I found it funny because she did a bunch of double takes. Im glad I've made progress, and hopefully, she does as well.
#goodending

Have I ever told you how beautiful you are? Keep waiting
#alpha #beta #sigma #worldwar2

I literally can't study this... i feel like such a pervert just sitting here analyzing this beautiful rose in front of me...
#Female #Mpreg

Just got done looking over the female anatomy for medical terminology, and i can't wait to tell my future wife how gross she is...
#female #feminist

My grandma asks me why I like to torment people as if I wasn't bullied every day in elementary...
#rant

I hope I never have a daughter. So she doesn't get a dog nose like mine...
#nose

I know, right? Those are my two traits?!?!

I hate my life. The girl I get a slight crush on doesn't like clingy boyfriends and is allergic to cats...
#rants #kms #cats #catdads

HAMMOND, YOUR FORKLIFT CERTIFIED?!?💯🧨

Im getting sick of modern self-titled "authors" on online horror threads who just slam snuff in your face saying how scary it is... It's not. it's just a weird fanasty you built in your head, and it adds nothing to the story or plot?!?
#books #horror

Fuck skate
Skate pov: 😳

@blizzardent.bsky.social buff wrecking ball

Mother said not to eat the whole 5lbs of chicken tenders in one meal. So I split them up in the morning and evening!😏
#food #feeder #hungry #fat

Look at this hot shot? Keep putting periods so I dont have to keep reading your dumbass post. The girl had a slight curve to her build making her "fat"

@animalrising.org
If I was a animal in the UK Id want to die. So youre doing them a disservice.

@govandybeshear.bsky.social
WHO FRIES THE CHICKEN ANDY?? IS IT YOU???
🐔

@govevers.wisconsin.gov
TONY I LOVE YOU 💚💛
HOW ABOUT THOSE PACKERS?!
TONY WE NEED TO TARIFF CHEESES COMING INTO THE STATE OF WISCONSIN 🚨🚨
Best love bud hope your office smells like spotted cow. 😏