Listen, it's called "aura farming" thank you very much

I remember when you could "hack" payphones with a Cap'n Crunch Whistle. Hacking was so much more whimsical in the 70s.

Don't worry about it

Looks like old Bob "Murder" McDougall is making us all look bad again.

Well isn't that just typical!

I met I could order a crappy set of night vision goggles off Temu or something for like 20 bucks.

Ah yes, Auspex, least useful of the gifts of Cain. (If you believe in that old fairy tale.) Sure I'll trade, but ya gotta drink twice! Just to make sure that it takes mind you. 😇

Trying to come up with New Year's resolutions but idk. I run the server room, occasionally go on an assignment topside and drink blood. That's about it. Mabey I should shake things up this year? I could start a weird blood cult?

*Flexes*

Damn I was hoping it would act like a force field to keep y'all out of my haven. Anyway, there's a certain wooden paneling selling Malkavian I need to have serious words with now

Nice try. I'd never reveal I know that boon-breaking tool is hiding out in the abandoned Ovaltine factory

You mean the tacky wooden 70s paneling ain't good enough to stop ya?

Who's Garland?

You better watch out
Cause you're gunna die
An ancient blood feud is the reason why
Nictuku are coming to town

I know SOMEONE who is getting dead rats in their stockings. And by that I mean yer dress socks. And by that I mean that I'm going to break into your haven, invade your sock drawer and stuff dead rats in your socks.

What? You mean you don't hide YOUR xmas presents under a pile of dead rats? Where's your flipping xmas spirit?

Holidays can be rough for me and my cousins. We've got a tradition where some of my contacts from the other warrens get together on Xmas eve and play ttrpgs all night and exchange gifts. I'm looking forward to seeing my old friends, Mandibles, Rat Face and Stinky Jim.

On the second night of Christmas
My Nosie gave to meeee
Two bags of blood
With a side of Elder Diablerie

Yesss it was ME

Oh yeah suuuure that's the future I wanna see. Tamagotchi pocket grannies. "Oh my grandma's dead but you still gotta feed her and change her virtual diaper it's like she never left" /teardrop

Yeah so you know how they reclaim water from sewage, heavily treat it, purify it and reuse it as tap water? That's the stuff I take my biannual bath in. Just thought you'd like to know

Lucky for you I'm cool with being all hideous and stuff it comes with the package. So what shall I send you for the holidays? Asphalt repair caulk?

You're getting a pound of rat turds in your stocking for that one

I'm been roped into doing an "Opps All Nosferatu" holiday gift exchange in my warren and I need to think of some clever gift ideas

Well it pays to be naturally sneaky that's for sure.

No takesies-backsies

When I know that a Venture representative is coming to the Warren on business I like to put on old Dracula movies in the background, and then my broodmates and I try to get each other to crack up while they're talking to my Sire about Important Business

I don't know if that's better or worse than the Kindred eating alien yellow fungus in the New York sewer system. I guess time will tell!

The Nos in my city have NOT run hundreds of miles of cable underground from warren to warren to make an intranet to speed along the dissemination of information in defiance of the Camarilla's no tech rule because that would be naughty

Yeah I mean if all the rumors are true about their origins, the Tremere aren't technically a real clan. That being said, I wouldn't say that in polite company or anything. You ever see a Tremere enforcer? Me either and that's why I'm still around in my little cozy sewer to shit post on the internet