Hard to know how to feel about VA Dems' extreme gerrymandering. On one hand it's obviously good. On the other hand it still permits a bunch of bigoted bumpkins to vote, which I'm not comfortable with

I'm loving how the toddler will mimic how I watch hoops with no idea of what's going on. During the OKC game yesterday he clapped at the TV with a stern expression and said "Come on basketball!" One time he yelled "Are you serious?!" for absolutely no reason

This is what it's all about!

The preamble "Two things can be true at once" has so thoroughly been claimed by assholes that I reject the truth of it. One thing can be true. Sometimes three things

Read this morning about how private equity is buying up youth sports leagues so they can jack up the fees and charge parents to sit in the stands or see video of the games (which they're banned from recording themselves). It is well past guillotine o'clock

I love her

"These days, it seems, it's more of a DISinformation super highway." If I posted this on Facebook on a graphic with a multicolor background one of my uncles might die from the profundity

I can clock a first date immediately. This guy is nervously rubbing his arms and doing the job interview uptalking. Plus he's wearing what I presume is his nicest golf polo

I like how animal rights people say "don't feed a fed horse." It rhymes with the original saying, it retains its meaning, it has alliteration, great job

Hey bro would you mind putting the laugh back. What can I do to earn it

Going to an outdoor wedding tomorrow when it's gonna be 90°. Can't wait to see the photos in which I look like livestock

These grills they have at public parks have to be among the least used prevalent things out there

The first highlighted text is an equally obvious proposition and the bottom one (from a MT Supreme Court dissenter) gets at what every trans rights "question" comes down to: you either acknowledge trans identity is real or (like this shitbag) think they're faking it (why would one do that)

One of the most "yeah no shit" propositions one could possible utter

Everyone who hasn't seen me in a while wants to discuss this weakass beard I'm attempting. There are much more important subjects and we would minimize them by talking for even one second about my face. World hunger, what's your thoughts on that

Got a little laugh when the tax prep program asked me if the toddler "paid for more than half of their own living expenses" in 2025. Yeah not quite. He is the textbook definition of a freeloader

There's clearly a sliver of a crosswalk in that square. I was right to click it. I wish you could captcha these hands

You can tell he was going for a killer combo of topical subjects but couldn't make them fit in his 10 minute workday so he just went with it

Right!

They all lead such pitiful lives. There's no Republican whose life is enviable in any way--not even the easy money some make selling back the brain poison that got them. I'd rather work til I die than do that shit and I fucking hate working

Many such dads I'm sure

Does this even have a punchline and if so what is it. Putting aside whether it's funny (clearly not), does this meet the technical requirements of a "joke"

Just learned that Andy Borowitz, the most unfunny purported humorist in human history, has a Substack. It costs $6/month and has over 600K subscribers. I can't tell how many subscribers are on the free tier but he's likely making a few mil a year to do stuff like this

It's important that he take advantage of the comradery and networking opportunities with his fellow two-year-olds

Toddler tried to convince me he could "work from home" rather than go to daycare this morning

Every weakass software program now touts their "AI" feature which if you click on it goes
✨💫✨
You Are Now Using AI
Here Are The Words On Your Screen
✨💫✨

I need to be on a boat feeling the hot fiberglass on my bare feet and cool mist on my face very soon or I don't know what will happen

One cord to rule them all haha. I'm just kicking back and loving life

She has a much better wardrobe than I do

Thank you!!