Smooth Criminal
#officelife #dontcare #leavemealone

Wish that you spent your Friday doing something besides checking if TikTok was banned or not?

Try out @skylight.social — a video app built upon the same open network as Bluesky. You can login with your Bluesky account, and all of your followers seamlessly come with you.

Aoohhh! There he is!

I don't know who the fuck you are, little kid... but you touch a brotha's heart.

Even a broken clock is right twice a day.

Since, apparently we can just go around naming shit whatever we want, I'm claiming the UK. Welcome to Ryanland bitches.

#GIRobot

Boston Dynamics Dog Unstoppable At Puppy Bowl GLENS FALLS, NY—Breaking its own record after scoring a touchdown to rack up its 600th point within the first quarter, the Boston Dynamics dog appeared unstoppable at the Puppy Bowl, sources confirmed Sunday. “It looks like Nacho is headed into the end zone, and—oh no, another brutal tackle from Spot, the robotic dog!” said game commentator Steve Levy, who clutched his head and winced as the gadget began emitting a high-pitched noise that caused the few still-standing puppies to crumple unconscious to the ground. “Oof, that’s gotta hurt! This is one dog that sure likes to play rough. It’ll be interesting to see what he does with the arm he’s protracting. Good God, Spot, no. That’s the referee! Run, everybody. Run for your lives!” At press time, the robotic dog was reportedly showboating with a victory dance on a pile of its opponents’ corpses.

Boston Dynamics Dog Unstoppable At Puppy Bowl
theonion.com/super-b...

I wish people were as motivated to affect real change as my cat is to kill me as I walk down the stairs.

#bethechange #burnitdown

So Canada is fully and seriously concerned that Trump wants to invade. A non-elected nazi has all of your personal information, including your SSN, and other allies are making plans with each other to stop trade agreements with us. Enjoy your Superbowl, though.
#theworldwedeserve

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Karoline Leavitt reminds me of "Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation With at a Party" from Weekend Update.

@saturdaynightlive.bsky.social

Oh sure, the ONE time I actually wanted to text "duck" to somebody...

Listen. I'm not saying new fancy uniforms are coming, but IF THEY DO... 🔫 first, and 🤷‍♂️ later. Because what comes after that is really bad.
#trump #politics #history #stayalert

Be a problem.

I like to help

Just a couple of tips. I like to help.
#resist #punchnazis

Apropos of nothing. I just really like Star Wars...

🤣

Good for you, Elon!

New Tesla logo just dropped.

I have an idea...

16 followers! That's 4 more than Jesus had. Get bent, poser.

Suddenly, Angry Birds makes so much more sense.

We are the birds.

#angrybirds #pigs