it helps people like me who are always two days slow seem less weird

this bird also has regular beef with one particular window of her house. not sure what his deal is beyond like... probable CTE

The driver's side of an olive green Subaru with a bright iridescent blue cover on the side mirror that has spikes and dragon wings

The other side of the Subaru, showing the passenger side mirror with a similar costume, except with more horns. This is meant to make the Subaru look like a scary dragon to a literal angry bird.

so my sister has had to repurpose a dragon costume for her cat as armor for her Subaru against a cardinal that has been aggressively attacking the mirrors. this has been a success except that Scary Owl has failed to dissuade him from attacking the nearby Jeep. he fears only dragons

#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER THE GREAT INFLUENZA The Story of the Deadliest Pandemic in History WITH A NEW AFTERWORD ON COVID-19 JOHN M. BARRY AUTHOR OF RISING TIDE "Monumental... powerfully intelligent... not just a masterful narrative but also an authoritative and disturbing morality tale." -Chicago Tribune

looks like it’s time to rec one of the best books i’ve ever read again. the audio is excellent

bold take from a man who refuses to swim in any body of water that has been cleaned

and unlike these, I am fashionable both before and after Labor Day, Marlene

take a deep breath and listen closely to your surroundings. can you hear the creaks and groans of your body as your cells oxidize? good. now focus on your sense of smell. can you smell the decay of your last meal on your breath? good, now deeeeeep inhale

keep thinking for some reason this morning about how many soldiers in WW1 were casualties of... lice

looking forward to the Sam darnold OUT INDEFINITELY - PLAGUE graphic

it's the memento mori of mindfulness practice

it is his colors and everything, come on

I'm sorry but oh my god his little belly?? look at this little man?? 😍😍😍

An orange cat is asleep on his side on an eggplant purple blanket with his head and front legs stretched over a white woman's arm. Peeking from under the cat's head is part of a tattoo with a crescent moon and clouds.

The orange cat's face is now tucked between his front legs.

he... he's sleeping on the tattoo that is a memorial to my three other boys 🥹

The orange cat asleep on the purple blanket; he has now arranged himself on his side with his front paws tucked away under his chin, but belly exposed and his back feet and tail dangling at the end in a weird little carrot or sweet potato shape.

update: 🥕 practice

at first I just stared at it, like okay no that must have been the jet lag, this cannot be real lol

An orange cat curled asleep, single pink toe bean peeking, atop a luxurious eggplant purple ribbed velour blanket

the ugly blue and white heated throw abruptly bit the dust, so now he is a little prince on purple

to err is human; retribution is divine

an at least not be an asshole about doing a shitty job

A paragraph from a news story about police discovering human remains, in which the author felt it absolutely necessary the reader should know the front trunk of a Tesla is "also known as a frunk" (full text below) Her decomposed body was found Sept. 8 after workers at Hollywood Tow reported a strong odor coming from the Tesla registered to the singer. Officers opened the front trunk, also known as a frunk, and found the remains in two cadaver bags, according to LA County grand jury documents made public following a hearing in a Texas court.

putting this particular explanatory clause in this set of sentences is certainly a Choice

mah nà mah nooooooo

for so many reasons. first, this time zone is nonsense

I am so glad I don't live here anymore

first of all it's just really fun to say

you look incredible 🥹

I like stegosaurus because they have a thagomizer and that word is just absolutely rad

an orange cat carefully holding a fold of tortilla blanket in his mouth with an expression more vacant than the vastness of space

got noticed in a bad way at work today because a very high up executive said their childhood dream was to be a Mets fan and I blurted out, "why would anyone WANT that?"

I am intrigued!!

went from eastern daylight to mountain standard time and I am just not going to have any idea what time it is until Friday

yeah my favorite place to sit on the fkn tarmac is sky harbor, the planes definitely don't heat up quickly when stationary on asphalt 😑