What’s funny is my beer league team just did the same thing, so my teammate and I were joke that it would happen …

That was brutal. Pretty rare to score and empty netter and then lose.

Ha!

The Catholic Church is fucking wild. They should not have kicked this hornet’s nest. Hegseth wouldn’t last 5 minutes in a room of nuns enforcing the virtue of repentance.

They gave me wine during school in 2nd grade. Maybe the Education Secretary can weigh in on that. (I had to look it up because I somehow forgot that it’s Linda McMahon from the WWE because sure why not?)

RFK needs to issue a strong statement about how the multiplying of the loaves is making our bodies weak with gluten.

I look forward to them accusing the Pope of giving handouts. “There’s no free lunch!”

It’s so funny. How am I finding myself standing up for the pope?!? How did this happen? But, like, the Pope is VERY good at theology.

Make Heaven Great Again! All this forgiveness stuff is weak. When I was a kid, we had the God of Job, and it built character. The kids these days with their reconciliation and whatnot…

You’ll finger those beads until you bleed.

“Under a Vance Papacy, we’ll require mandatory Hail Mary minimums for reconciliation. No more of this soft on crime nonsense!”

It’s just so fucking funny. Like, I’m sure non-Catholics can see how it’s a little funny. But Catholics believe the Pope is literally God’s messenger on Earth. He can absolve the repentant of sin and welcome them to the kingdom of heaven. Weak on crime! Jesus Christ, man.

These fucking guys are really going to make me, a survivor of 14 years of Catholic school, stand up for the Catholic Church. I never thought I’d see the day. But man, “The Pope is soft on crime” is absolutely killing me.

There’s a type of anti-Trump person who always thinks he is playing 4D chess rather than being a narcissistic fool. I look forward to takes like, “Trump sent Melania to shift everyone’s focus to Epstein and away from the unpopular war in Iran, which Trump started to shift focus away from Epstein.”

You’re welcome by the way.

Good news for everyone in Seattle who suffers from seasonal allergies: I believe I have hoovered every single particle of pollen into my airways and eye sockets, so the air should be clear for you.

Everything under the sun is in tune.

I've heard that if you hit play at the exact moment the sun is eclipsed by the moon, the view out the spacecraft window syncs perfectly with the music.

Apollo 17 was the last manned moon mission in December 1972, and Pink Floyd released Dark Side of the Moon in March 1973. So the Artemis II crew are the first people to ever have the chance to listen to Dark Side of the Moon while looking at the dark side of the moon.

Blind Melon - No Rain YouTube video by BlindMelonVEVO

Well, at least it’s a good song. www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qVP...

16,586

Turnout to Torrent games remains incredible. I guess we’re just keeping the upper decks open every game now. Pretty sure crowds are bigger than the kraken these days.

“I AM dressed, Dad! I just need to put on my pants and my sweater and my socks.”

I think my favorite argument is when people say, “You need to learn cursive to write a check!” First off, these kids are never going to write a check. But also, YOU CAN PRINT ON CHECKS!

I learned to write in cursive in grade school. We were forced to use it exclusively from 2nd through 5th grades. And then on the first day of 6th grade the teacher said we could choose print or cursive and I never wrote in cursive again. It can’t think of a single benefit I got from learning it.

Echolalia is a phenomenal word. Thank you for introducing me to it.

“Royale Tiger towel paper towel power play” is the most difficult phrase to say in the English language. Try to speak it out loud without reading it. It’s almost impossible. These PWHL announcers have a tough job.

I’ve been informed that the 2nd graders are all calling him Donald Dump.

I don’t think I have achieved this since… 2006? I feel like a whole new person. Anything is possible. Don’t you dare send me an email.

Screenshot from email app saying Nothing in inbox.

Please clap.