One of you will just have to take the hit and become uglier. It's the only solution.

That's why one boyfriend should always be the stylish one, and the other should look unfortunate.

Let's rub our dirty dicks together - call that frottage cheese.

I'm so sorry, I'll see myself out.

Wondering why I'm always suffering, knowing damn well that I keep making all my decisions at the dumb bitch factory.

CRANK is going to tangible, physical harm to people this summer and I will be doing some of the harming

So...a normal polycule then?

Blurry picture (real) of a horse floating through the air

on my way to get a second ice coffee

Good news everyone: thanks to an AI ad I was forced to watch, I finally know how to get rid of my nagging pussy odor. 💃💕

Nice dissonance. Let me guess, cognitive?

Started drawing a little nudibranch-bunny-person, lol.

Is Bluesky working now?

Everyone should try being a little more ugly.

I long for a tumblr revival.

Just wanna be back in pdx with my bestie. So ready for this coming picnic season.

Why do I feel like he might actually be good at it???

a mountain with a face and the words all those men and their disgusting fantastic bodies written below it ALT: a mountain with a face and the words all those men and their disgusting fantastic bodies written below it

Scrolling the "popular with friends" tab and wheeping like

[me] I think I'm doing better
[narrator] she's the worst she's ever been

I need to be cracked like a glow stick, but like not in a sexual way, like in a way where all my bones just pop

It would be so cunt to be a sleeper agent. I should buy a wig just in case.

I think they mostly gave me generalized anxiety disorder, lol.

No, to this day, my parents are unaware I was taken from school every day for like, 4 years, lol. 🤷‍♀️ my parents are decidedly not russian so who knows

It's kind of you to assume I was capable of learning russian. They had me try german and czech as well. Alas, im only impressive with my soft skills.

Was anyone else taken out of elementary school without their parents' permission to learn Russian and like, chemistry and shit at an empty school near a military base? Can't be just me...

Please check in on your 35+ year old gay friends today

I had a street luging phase as a kid, and one time i hit a curb HARD and came to an immeadiate stop. I heard this terrible noise, looked over, and saw that an SUV had barely stopped just 3" from my face. I was maybe...10.

Desire is so...ugh, human.

Gross.

Migraine day: who wants to come crush my left eye with their palm?

I go into full panic mode when I hear someone is already aware of me. Like, I'm sweet, but I'm also a strong personality! 😬