Learning astral projection so I can ask people what's going on in the movie they're watching in rooms I'm not even in.

He could just ignore the rules, but he's kind of a wuss.

NASA has recorded a massive solar storm which could mean earth could experience one of the biggest Peanut Butter Jelly Times of the last 100 years.

who care

Just because the blue wave dorks are here doesn't mean I want to see them.

Lit up by his riffing.

Don't bother. It's terrible.

Where's Trump reading the bible. I was promised.

This is what happens when you only teach critique instead of how to engage directly with something.

The replies are even dumber.

"We won and now I think we should have more seats." In Trump's words are the beginning and end of the discussion. There's no reasoning with it.

I think the most revealing thing about the Republican position that only Republicans get to do partisan gerrymanders is that so many Republicans seem to genuinely believe it.

I wish I never had to hear about Hasan again.

So did Trump read the bible last night?

Thanks. I wouldn't chose to be someone different, but I know the reality of how a lot of people feel about me, they've told me with both words and violence.

It takes more guts for them and I know how much it takes from me.

People said I was too young do decide I was gay and accuse me of only saying I was to be different and cool.

In reality it was years of struggle and fear until I couldn't take it anymore.

I certainly didn't choose to be something people hate me for, neither did they.

Is that... Dotcom?

Bevis physiognomy.

Clodius, the newly minted plebeian Claude.

Me trying to blow a medieval peasant’s mind: and the downloadable content for the game was actually already on the disc you were just paying to unlock it

Peasant(chewing the gas station beef jerky I gave him): I saw the cobbler’s wife kissing Satan’s asshole in the forest

Me (mind blown): waaaaaa

Claude will never wake you up before it go-go
It will always leave you hanging on like a yo-yo

I am a child with something to say on Earth Day. And that's lets go Earth baby love da earth.

They all look excited to participate in mommy's stupid facebook shite.

Me, listening to Weird Al skewer a 30 odd year old song: Oh man, he got 'em!

writing a letter to weird al to ask if he can make a gin blossoms parody called like 'found out about food' or something even though the song is 37 years old

Legacy carriers have started carving out their deepest discount fares and stripping the little amenities out & people think, oh well, I just can't have a carry-on but it's much more than that. It's a contract to get fucked when something goes wrong.

Don't fly budget, ever if you can help it at all.

Why in god's name are we bothering to save that piece of shit airline that hate's its customers?

It's weird how all the TV writer/actor guys on here have opinions that almost seem specifically tailored to garner your applause. They don't miss.

AI has enabled me to run my digestion in reverse making it so I never have to make another meal in my life.

What do we want him to do, just not breathe?