How am I expected to attend a baby shower in an hour when I am in fact still baby

So…you think I’m hot? 🤗🙌🏻🏅

It’s LA!

When I get nervous that I won’t have enough to talk about in therapy and it’ll be 45 minutes of awkward silence I remember this exists

TGIF, etc.

Sorry I’m late to therapy I was in the lobby buying an $80 Kylie Minogue Barbie

Men who look upon themselves born to reign, and others to obey, soon grow insolent; selected from the rest of mankind their minds are early poisoned by importance; and the world they act in differs so materially from the world at large, that they have but little opportunity of knowing its true interests, and when they succeed to the government are frequently the most ignorant and unfit of any throughout the dominions.

Common Sense, published 250 years ago today.

ICE is what happens when you fill an entire agency with untrained mouth breathers who refused to accept that no one wanted them around when they were in high school

Annual post-Christmas reminder to delete “visiting from nyc” from your Grindr bio

Just got served an ad for a sw*stika necklace on TikTok things seem to be going well in the old U S of A!

Extra cringe that the primary reason I’m ashamed of this activity is not that it’s trashy and terrible for you but that it feels very MAGA coded

I leave the mirror a little dirty to maintain the fuckboy mystique it’s not laziness I swear

Friendsgiving IG posts are always a wake up call on my level of hoe-ness like everyone knows everyone I guess

Less psychotically positioned on the counter

NYC baby!

On his way out hookup said my place was “a very sex and the city apartment” which could be a compliment but given my dishwasher is on top of my stove I think he was reading me (I also live on the same street as the Carrie apartment)

Cheney and Zohran got me optimistic about the new Katy Perry single

Why didn’t I think of this version first

Voted for Zohran AND got 2 vaccines today I hope RFK Jr is twirling in his upright living grave

Po’s a hoe

He’s not dead until @popcrave.com says so

a woman in a pink shirt is standing in a hallway with her hand on her shoulder . ALT: a woman in a pink shirt is standing in a hallway with her hand on her shoulder .

Apple X Supercut still got me like

Yes I was in ptown 6 days ago yes I’m in the Pines yes I’m a cliche

I love ptown so much (it’s also kicking my ass)

Feels correct for ptown

I put my tank on for maybe the last 15 minutes walking home from the pool and this is what I get

That was the old me idk him (I c*me)

I’m such a boomer I had to post this thrice I didn’t realize you can’t upload gifs here

a woman with a crown on her head is singing into a microphone with the words exclusivo behind her ALT: a woman with a crown on her head is singing into a microphone with the words exclusivo behind her

Leaving for a week in ptown and forgot to refill my finasteride

Can’t read books but MAN can he cook them