Welcome to the club, chubbold <3

the only news I want to see about a tech CEO is a fuckin obituary

Birds are supposed to be high, duh

Puns c:

One of the reasons we so rarely take pics is being self conscious of blemishes - one of which is from our tummy pressing against the side of a hot pan when we were stretching up to get at the spice racks overhead.

Pan frying: simultaneously so good for the tummy but so bad for the tummy

It's all fun and games until you get grease splattered on your tummy v..v

A genital cup doesn't count as a shield belt

It's really a bittersweet when you come across a design that immediately sparks thoughts of an old friend and times shared in the past

But then you have to reconcile with the modern day, sans rose-tinted glasses: "Ah yes, that's right. They went crazy/mask off in 2016. They're dead to us now."

The perfect spyfox proportions. He can be in there like swimwear any day of the week~

Yeah you do~

Why do you think we keep trying to smooch you?

Signs point to Pretty Dragon, ma'am

We think we just need to double our hormone intake. We're a big bitch, who were these metrics even established for?

Anything medical is a fuckery when you're outside the averages.

How did you convince them to try that dosage?

Various white board doodles, a shitty kobold, two vials, a lumex and a dragon all thinkin'bout beans

This is where we live now

You have to know by now we think you're hot as shit, Hook

You have amazing boobs, critter - like, regardless of trans or not. They're filled out really well and tbh your shape is like, uh, pretty DAMN GOOD

They were probably putting you down just for being insecure their own damn selves 😤

We mean, if we can find a bikini that looks cute on us! We've got a swimsuit that's kinda cute, we can lounge on the side of the pool together and be admired and exchange gross sun-lotion flavored smooches

How many times do we have to tell you that we admire you and think you're hot, you goblingus

👉👈

Love chattering with fat fur friends while jiggling to the oldies at the gym

Very good choices, very good. You get a gold star 🌟

You can drag us by the horns anyday

Oh this is so good, and a great expression of their dynamic. Great work!

Tummy that rests on ground but is held up by little kobold claws and peppered with smooches

Book on tape? Fun podcast?

Mostly just staring at our capsules and creams and daring/begging/bullying them to actually -do something-

You're so expensive, just do -anything-, please, grumblegrumble

Oh they are tone-deaf as all fuck lmao

Settle in for the long haul, you're pretty cute and we might be extending your sentence...

If you're reading this, you're in Thigh Jail. You can't move with the weight of it all, but the walls are incredibly soft and there's three square meals a day.