yeah why would a mob lawyer work for a mobster?

have they calculated trains every five minutes?

How Trumps war with Iran is going
😎🤬🍊💩

i can’t imagine being proud about spending more time at the airport than in the air

trains every ten minutes is much better than free trains every thirty minutes

iran thinks there is no point making a deal with usa because usa doesn’t honour their 1994 agreement to protect ukraine a

fair point

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.

We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.

Please stand by for more.

Charlize Theron on the Night Her Mother Killed Her Father in Self-Defense

Unfortunately, this is not an isolated story. These things are prevalent in a lot of homes. Women really get a very, very unfair shake, even in this country.
Nobody takes it seriously.

It’s inaccurate to say Mario is brave and Luigi is cowardly

Luigi is afraid of death, so he runs away from danger. Mario is afraid of living, so he runs towards death. Both brothers are cowards in their own way

TIL people think refrigerators are nice

What I Saw Inside the Kennedy Center I spent 10 months working at the institution because I thought I could help protect it. What I observed there is far worse than the public knows.

Hitler’s goons also stripped art museums and replaced it with propaganda

not just releasing terrorists but rewarding them too
they’re planning another attack like jan 6

Last month in The Onion:

Post the best picture you have ever taken of your pet

Post the best picture you have ever taken of your pet

A white garment with some kind of food stain. Humiliating.

A pair of dirty hands rest on a car engine. Rough, tough, cool.

Here is an easy solution:

Food stains are humiliating, as they suggest you're a little baby who can't feed themselves.

Oil stains, such as those you'd get from working on your car, suggest you're tough, independent, and skilled.

Thus, simply cover your food stains with used motor oil.

cheeses sounds like jesus yeah and jd vance looks like wet beef with eyeliner

ima write a book about jd vance making popes hate him called Beef With Big Cheeses

what did steven wright do to get excommunicated?

jesus anointed people with hardcore cannabis, the antichrist steals your weed stash

boop me big guy

There are fewer 15 year old girls getting pregnant since Trump and Epstein stopped partying together

a drag queen is speaking into a microphone and says filth is my life . ALT: a drag queen is speaking into a microphone and says filth is my life .

trump is divine

in the sense that of all usa presidents trump most looks like the physical embodiment of Divine

trump’s diapers gonna explode the pope is awarded the next nobel peace price

maga got so sick of winning they stopped even trying

French perspective

Iran emerges from the war stronger than ever: armed with Chinese weapons, Russian intel, iron grip on the Strait of Hormuz, leverage over the Gulf states, and billions in assets unfrozen by the U.S.

A total strategic catastrophe for America.

Who calls this a “win”?

#IranWar‌

too cute

the 2026 analogue is netanyahu is amin al husseini advocating trump (hitler) to genocide muslims (jews) when trump was otherwise not going to genocide but just be generally horrifically abusive