Amazing how when I need a little motivation boost, I get handed my bikini bottoms from Lockdown 2020. Seeing how far I’ve come is a nice wee kick in the bum.

I don’t mean to brag, but I bought 4 boxes of mince pies today and still had change from a £2 coin 😂😂😂.

a woman in a blue coat and red belt is being surrounded by people . ALT: a woman in a blue coat and red belt is being surrounded by people .

Me wondering why none of my clothes fit after 6 weeks of eating mince pies and cheese almost exclusively… #christmas #festivefood

a woman in a blue coat and red belt is being surrounded by people . ALT: a woman in a blue coat and red belt is being surrounded by people .

It’s a Christmas miracle that given my festive month longest of mince pies and baked cheese that I’m not being rolled about like Violet Beauregard after she chews that gum in the chocolate factory.

Having survived almost exclusively on mince pies and baked Camembert since the end of November, I am going to be heartbroken when food starts to have calories against next week.

Ever wondered what smells worse than staffy farts?

It’s the farts of a Staffy who has eaten an entire gingerbread house.

Mmm, festive.

I have a chest infection, my eldest has flu, waiting the youngest bringing something to the party, like bubonic plague. Nothing screams Christmas quite like seasonal plagues. Fa la la la la la la la laaaaa.

Was planning on sneaking the school run in my jammies right until it was discovered that I will indeed have to get out of the car today 🥺😭💔

Them : Did you have a good night last night Kate?”

Me:

Can confirm, I did indeed finish painting the hall today…well, I finished painting the walls. 🤷🏻‍♀️ #adhd #adhdinwomen #neurodivergent #neurospicy

Started painting the hall in March…then the ADHD hit but today, yes TODAY is the day that I finish painting the hall 😂😂😂😂. #adhd #adhdinwomen #neurodivergent #neurospicy

Heavy resemblance to the pigeon lady from Home Alone as long as I’m not cold 😂😂😂

Nothing brings down an overly entitled white man faster than playing The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived repeatedly until he gets the point. It’s usually halfway through the bridge in my experience. #lifehack #taylorswift #tsmwel #ttpd

Dear Santa, we can explain…. #cats #tuxedocat #orangecat

Coleen saying it’s her first time with snakes…she means in the jungle right? #imaceleb

Behind the ear tattoo:

Pain 0%
Itch 100%

★★★★★ Definitley recommend.

the end of the eras era hold me while I cry pls

I was getting so much done right until my kid put on the grinch… 💚

Neither shocked nor surprised

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When words fail, music speaks 🤍 #spotify #wrapped #spotifywrapped #applemusic #replay #applemusicreplay #amazonmusic #delivered #amazonmusicdelivered

Walk into the club like "What's up? uh, does anyone remember why I came into this room? no? okay but seriously, what did I come into this room for? why do I always do this? was I hungry? maybe, I wanted a glass of water-"

Here’s to Chapter 38 🥂#olderbutnowiser

Colourful funeral held for Janey Godley in Glasgow Many of the comedian's family and friends wore colourful outfits at St Mary's Cathedral in Glasgow

Colourful funeral held for Janey Godley in Glasgow

All I’m going to say about Greg’s Wallace is I’m neither shocked, nor surprised.

This morning I saw a Mercedes driver AND a BMW driver use their indicators correctly. IT’S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!

Dark nights and Christmas lights 🤍

Someone called this mass exodus from Twitter ‘the fall of the Broman Empire’ and I died laughing. 💀

Can anybody find meeeeeeeee somewhere I can peeeeeeee. Just call me Freddie Merc-ur-needing-a-pee. #publictoilethunt #communityworker #lesserknownqueensongs