He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister. For rapes and ravishments he parallels Nessus. He professes not keeping of oaths; in breaking ’em he is stronger than Hercules. He will lie, sir, with such volubility, that you would think truth were a fool.
I was NOT thinking of electrical plugs 😭
Hell is empty,
And all the devils are here.
Scared for the direction Trump makes tiktok go in the future
Return’d so soon!
Wut
a box of durex-brand jeans condoms, with an image detail of blue jeans on the front of the box
use a jondom. every time.
Merry Chrrismukkah and Happy Hannumas
To be clear the drinks were good he just wasn’t very fast 😅
The Chinese restaurant we ate at, which serves exclusively halal food and has a huge Muslim customer base, was blasting the entirety of Sabrina Carpenter’s Short ‘n Sweet in honor of Christmas, and, honestly, this wild mix of influences is the main thing I love about this stupid country.
My dad is making cocktails for Christmas dinner and I love the man but he would not last 5 minutes as a professional bartender
Being an adult during Christmas means being genuinely ecstatic to receive things like a Safeway gift card and new socks and underwear
Be merry, be merry.
FAGGOTRY IS DIVINITY (with Jesus being held by some man)
God is a faggot
Some rare good news out of Arkansas & a big L for Sarah Huckabee Slanders 👏👏👏
I cannot fucking focus today
Omg I can’t wait to go to bed
They need to invent procrastination where you don't have to deal with its consequences later
Queering ChatGPT
Slayyyy
I haven’t played since I was like 12 but I still have all my cards 😅
I miss playing Yu-Gi-Oh 😩
Opening day of my third year performing this show 😸
Somehow I went from being a lifelong Oregonian who had no clue how to pump his own gas to getting legitimately irritated if a gas station attendant tries to help me 😅
My anxiety still has yet to go down tho lol
Somehow I passed 🤷♂️😁
That was terrifying
