Oklou is Clairo for people who smoke skinny cigarettes.

I think I never had an emo phase as a teen because I had enough emotional maturity to know there were sadder things in like than your parents getting divorced.

I will not be letting anyone else who works in tech into my life. I’m at capacity right now (1.5 people) and simply do not have the bandwidth to handle the extra burden. Thank you for your cooperation in this important matter.

I don’t even think that disease drew barrymore had in 50 first dates was even real

“GPA average”

Was anyone else vegetarian between 2007-2012 and almost exclusively ate Stouffer’s French Bread Pizza

or a lesbian #ally

“Savage” comment, good sir! Methinks it’s very epic bacon of you! Keep on rocking!

“Watcher of people. Savage commenter. Humor so dry it could suck the humidity out of the air. Oh… and cats. Cats are pretty cool, too.”

tits probably lowkey go hard if you’re a straight guy

2026 is such a Sky Ferreira coded year.

Who is this directed to and do you think it’s helpful at all

A doctor attempted to provide medical aid to Renee Good in Minneapolis. Trump regime ICE troopers stopped him, claimed to have their own medics, while blocking paramedics down the road as well.

When the doctor on scene identified himself as a physician, ICE responded:

"I don't care."

Seeing a Nalgene in the wild is like running into an old friend.

Look, I’m a simple man. A movie had Amanda Seyfried in it, I’m sat.

nobody is named daphne anymore

Got a new nightstand :))))) everything is about to change for me

transgender for everybody

Dave Portnoy has the vibe of someone who’s really excited to show off what he’s learned in his Yellow Belt class in karate.

You seem fun.

Gonna start pronounce it NEW York and NEW Jersey the way people outside of Connecticut call it NEW haven

Industry is Succession for people who fuck.

Now what the hell is even that

When I said I was going to the Pines, you thought I meant Fire Island?? Nah baby, we out here in the pine barrens, burying bodies and searching for the Jersey Devil.

“Buy the dip!” - crypto bros, and me when I’m being a lil bad and getting a treat at the supermarket

We need free mental health services in this country so Azealia Banks can go back to releasing bangers.

Hey drivers! Why do you insist on trying to hit every biker in New York City?!?

u is starting to be like the Spanish tú (informal, familiar) you is like usted

At this point it’s our right as Americans to see Bill Clinton’s penis. I want to see what all the fuss is about.