It’s not self-loathing Tuesday, I tell myself encouragingly.
Then I read my timeline and think, maybe it is.
Buck up, sky folk, stiff upper lip, etc.

thank god she lost so we get to feel superior

What? Is that an error or a call 911 thing?

4/20 Los Angeles: the traffic is gonna be slow today.

Raiders of the Lost Ark, also North by Northwest, and Wild at Heart.

4/20 Los Angeles: the traffic is gonna be slow today.

I believe they’re siblings.

thinking about it, I haven’t seen that movie in years. I love that movie.

I’ve been saying some version of that line my entire life. Generally at restaurants trying too hard.

Feed live tuna mayonnaise.

the Atlantic fucked up my view of FBI Director Kash Patel. He’s not coming to save us, is he?

Famous image used on acid tabs to celebrate Hoffman’s Bicycle Ride in 1943 where he accidentally discovered LSD and tripped while riding his bike. (Or something like that. That’s the basis for a good Google, at least.)

I want to ride my bicycle, bicycle, bicycle

It’s the fake Jerry Chen theory. Checkmark Jerry is clone, original flavor Jerry‘s posts…hit different.

Alright!

Guys, we should start a cool club. We can call ourselves Americans and we can fight tyranny.

sometimes typos remind me I'm alive
in the bad way and the good way

Diane sits on the foot of the bed, singing, "Oh, you've got green eyes. Oh, you've got blue eyes. Oh, you've got grey eyes. And I've never met anyone quite like you before."

Thank you for this. I miss him. Coming home from work, hearing that voice.

baby I’ll take you their

out here sending typos to the wrong women

Guys, we should start a cool club. We can call ourselves Americans and we can fight tyranny.

That absurdist kick out of telling friends and loved ones: “Don’t trust my brain. I need you to make sure it‘s really me when we- We could have a code- A word my brain wouldn’t- Ahh! Never mind, just forget we had this conversation.”

A pocket protest. You should be put against the wall.

“And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you." - Pete Hegseth, embarrassingly

Venmo @Death: because who carries coins for the Ferryman anymore.

don’t be a misogynist challenge easy level:
don’t be a misogynist on the internet today

“Please Joel, do what they say, just get off the babysitter.“

TEN!