Hey everybody! I am taking the helm of this classic American institution with @theonion.com and want to know what you fine folks would like to see from us.

it’s a great day for transphobes to eat shit

Meta just paid the lowest effective federal tax rate in its history.

Thanks to tax breaks and loopholes, it avoided $13.7B in 2025 federal income taxes.

But now it's planning to lay off 10% of its global workforce (8,000 people) by May 20 — with more job cuts later this year.

Trickle down hoax.

Gil Duran tweet: TLDR: Fascism in response to Palantir's long fascists screed on X.

"Your Account is Suspended" Message on X

The CEO of Palantir posted a fascist manifesto on X.

I pointed out that it was fascist—which resulted in a permanent suspension from X (my second time!).

So, when you hear the tweeters complaining that BlueSky is intolerant, remember why many of us came here in the first place.

This is from Butler’s Parable of the Talents, the second book of Earthseed, written in the 90s

Right out in the open, Donald Trump is suing his own IRS to try to steal $10 BILLION taxpayer dollars.

I just introduced a bill that would make this theft ILLEGAL.

Despite Growing Dem Support, Senate Still Kills Sanders' Bid to Block US Arms to Israel | Common Dreams "Today, more than 80% of the Democratic caucus stood with the American people and voted to block US military aid to Netanyahu and his horrific, illegal wars," said Sanders.

Frustrating as hell.

Despite Growing Dem Support, Senate Still Kills Sanders' Bid to Block US Arms to Israel www.commondreams.org/news/sanders...

Tesla paid $0 in federal income taxes in 2025, despite making $5.7 billion.

This Tax Day, remember that you have paid more in taxes than a multi-billion dollar company—all thanks to corporate tax breaks from Trump’s One Big Beautiful Bill.

ChatGPT: you’re right you’re so much smarter than him. He’s so schlubby and you’re so suave. Columbo will never catch you.

‘Everyone is Replaceable’: Death Rattles Oregon Amazon Facility A worker died at Amazon’s Troutdale warehouse last week. Employees were told to look away.

A worker died at an Amazon warehouse in Oregon last week.

For more than an hour, workers were instructed to continue working as the man lay dead.

One worker wanted to help, but a manager told them to “Just turn around and not look. Let’s get back to work," according to @thewesternedge.bsky.social.

Amazon, which saved $4B in taxes under Trump's Big Ugly Bill, has cut 30,000 jobs since last October.

Verizon, which saved $2B, plans to cut 15,000 jobs this year.

Meta, which saved $3B, plans to lay off 20% or more of its workforce.

Trickle-down economics is a cruel joke.

Deaf puppy doesn't notice when her human comes home, so he gets to wake her up gently and see her innocent excitement.

Season 21, Episode 1 - 'Cube is good.' | Full Episode YouTube video by Taskmaster

You may not know @taskmaster.tv. It's hilarious & joyful. I begged to do it, worked out my schedule a year ahead of time to make it happen & got to do the best show on TV w/ the loveliest ppl. Ep 1 is out &, trust me, you need this joy. All seasons free on youtube.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=oRfH...

Email your MP to demand no Palantir in our NHS Palantir faces scrutiny for human rights abuses as MPs debate its £330m NHS data contract on 16 April. Urge your MP: no Palantir in our NHS. Act now.

We were never consulted on Palantir gaining access to our health data.

But we've since made our views known. And in just 4️⃣ DAYS, MPs will debate activating the break clause in Palantir's NHS contract.

Tell you MP to do the right thing 👇

www.amnesty.org.uk/get-involved...

BOOM!
South Australia's power prices have plummeted as they near 100% renewables, proving to the world that relying on wind and solar with battery back-up is possible, more reliable and costs people less.

THIS is how we avoid the next oil crisis.

#EnergyRevolution

Article from last October that is now relevant again.

www.nbcnews.com/politics/don...

The only president stupid enough to do it.

More Oregon water for Google’s data centers, more concern over secrecy Conservationists and The Dalles disagree about the implications of Google's thirst, but they agree the company's secrecy is sowing distrust.

"Google’s data centers gulped down nearly 550 million gallons of water in The Dalles in 2025. That’s nearly 40% of all the water consumed in the entire city and a huge jump from the year before."

www.oregonlive.com/silicon-fore...

20% of British electricity coming from solar power at six in the evening in early April is absolutely remarkable.

And we’re just getting started…🇬🇧♻️⚡️💡🔋😎

"20 yrs ago the world took a year to add 1 gigawatt of solar.
Now it takes just half a day.

Solar costs have fallen by around 90% over past decade, & as costs fall, installations accelerate.

Nowhere is this clearer than in China 🇨🇳. It now accounts for well over half of global solar installations"

Mr Beast looks like he could watch someone get murdered and his heart rate wouldn't change.

That one person can drag us into a war without consulting or even notifying Congress beforehand, or our allies, or coherently explain to the American people why this is necessary, is absolutely bonkers.

Reminder that Congress has the power to stop this.

The President of the United States would like everyone to know that he is acting with criminal intent, in case there was any ambiguity.

The President of the United States is a malignant narcissist.

In what world is it okay for the Defense Secretary to make multi-million dollar investments in defense companies:
a) Ever;
b) In the run-up to starting a war in the Middle East

FT has the scoop: www.ft.com/content/744e...

In a functional democracy, he would offer his resignation tonight.

Hey Congress,

Any President, regardless of political party, who threatens to order the United States Military to commit war crimes needs to be impeached immediately.

If he does give these orders, he should be handed over to the International Criminal Court.

“Reform’s so called great repeal bill would scrap the Employment Rights Act, would scrap the Equality Act, take away rights of millions of hard working people up and down the country”

Paul Nowak TUC General Secretary

A remarkable AP photo of a protester dressed as Lady Liberty being cuffed by helmeted cops. She is looking straight at the camera with a tired "you seeing this shit?" expression.

RIP editorial cartooning.