wow 2 months since my last post??? time flies when you have no concept of time anymore because time isnt real

can I commission someone with a nice customer service voice to make my business voicemail?

my dad took his ambien and sent me home with the most random assortment of shit. MY old bow and arrows, MY old camping backpack, and a bowling ball 💀

yeah we have our own safe space and have just learned to keep to ourselves. we enjoy each other's company more than anyone else. we have our gay friends, and we don't look for other places to go or new people to meet, solely based on orientation. it's especially hard when we live in the bible belt.

I get told that I must not be gay enough. or im not actually bisexual. I feel unwelcome in gay spaces when I am with my partner because we "look straight"

im in a straight passing relationship and it is infuriating sometimes

sometimes I feel like I should just shut the fuck up and never speak again.
I was selectively mute until I was 10, I wanna go back.

shit was starting to burn so I had to stir the pot, don't get mad at me lol

if I told you what was going on in my life right now, you'd think I was telling you about an episode of shameless that you haven't seen

btw I DO sell feet pics and I WILL send you videos of me stepping in shit

thank you sm🫶

hit a rabbit and broke the splitter on the front of my car :(
lucky that's all that happened tho

a baby opossum

WE HAVE A BABY

Really need to quit my job and just focus on taking more naps.

very ouch indeed

so anyway, I got bit by a parrot today

heyyyy guyyyyysssss im back and better than ever :)
kinda had a manic episode BUT IT WORKED OUT

I just want a gym buddy :(

my husband has always been skinny but strong. now he's going to the gym and just after a few days he can see gains and I just🤤🤤🤤🤤

just saw a comment that said if you cook a steak in a cast iron pan, to get the perfect steak, just play Fergalicious once for each side. I gotta try it

I cant wait for the day I can finally beat the shit out of my mother in law

why THE FUCK is dominos trying to act like stuffed crust is new???

if I have my dog with me out in public, ive fully accepted the fact that people will talk to me and I want him to be social, so PLEASE talk to my dog. dont talk to me, but please talk to him and tell him how pretty and well behaved he is, he loves it.

one like before I take a shower and ill shave the sides of my head

I hate cleaning the litter box bc I have to take a shower immediately afterwards no matter what. so I have to mentally prepare myself for 2 big things

I have 2 moods:
•Full of yap
•Nonverbal

I REALLY dont want to clean out the litter box but I have to and im procrastinating

I want a great dane so bad but i don't live in a barn