Just did this and found two of my Dad’s papers in here…

People outside the comedy community would never experience SNL announcing new cast members and then your timeline is filled with people congratulating them with that one picture they have doing improv with them. It’s a magical time.

At least we might have all collectively manifested something last night. So that’s hopeful.

Photo of a book featuring a 2 x 3 grid of photos displaying various playing card tricks: a knife stabs a card, a card is being torn up, many threatening hand gestures. Title and copy read: CARDS I AM GOING TO MURDER FIFTY-TWO COWARDS THAT HAD SOME SHIT LIKE THIS COMING TO THEM By CHRISTIAN FELT PURCHASER AGREES TO NOT TELL THE COPS

I can’t wait to watch the new Spiderman and point out every place I either got drunk or cried in Glasgow! Oh how I miss living there.

Belle was my favorite Disney princess because she believed she was better than everyone else simply because she read books. I really related to that.

A close-up, black and white photo of Eartha Kitt in her Catwoman costume.

Eartha Kitt as Catwoman.

a book cover saying "buckle the fuck up the bitches are coming" "with a bag of liquor drugs & weapons"

i heard reading is fundamental

A clam on a wooden railing with a stormy grey sea in the background

There it is. The clam before the storm.

I’m not going to the Criterion Closet van when it comes to LA. I’m waiting for my wedding night to do that.

Appearing in my dreams is considered flirting. Like I know you projected yourself there you little ol’ tease.

No cheating, your last saved celeb pic is your therapist.

Every year I forget it’s April Fools’ Day and every year I’m reminded that I’m gullible af.

The reason that the US is locking up tourists for weeks in hellish detention centers rather than letting them book tickets back home is because the detention centers are owned by corporations. They are charging the taxpayers fortunes to cage these people, and making bonanzas off their suffering.

Convinced my niece that I’m a witch so it was a successful trip home.

Some of you all never seen Reality Bites and it shows.

I get my news from the only reliable source! My comedian friends posting jokes about it on social media.

Just found out my innie has more game than me because she keeps hooking up with everyone on the severed floor.

All a hyper-independent woman want is to be a passenger princess.

I mean he’s wearing a $175 hoodie so like it’s kind of appropriate Oscar’s attire…

Ha don’t mind me just crying over every post from a park ranger.

Between watching Nightbitch, Companion, Your Monster and The Penguin it seems like I’ve really been into female rage lately. Anyways time to watch Yellowjackets!

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day so there’s still time for any secret admirers to buy me a bouquet of donuts.

💯 you’re so right 🤣 nailed it 🎯

Every now and then I’m like maybe I should start vlogging but then I remember all I actually do most of the day is sit in different chairs in my apartment.

I’m not oversharing, I’m just dropping lore.

This past month has been so stressful, I’m starting to actually look my age.

If he wanted to, he would.
But like he’s super busy right now. And works been pretty crazy. And like he’s really into this book he’s been reading right now. So maybe like he would later this week.