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Just eat it…

1 year ago 0 0 0 0
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Hoping this account brings me peace, pictures of dogs, dirty memes, and lots of laughter.

1 year ago 657 59 53 3
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a stuffed animal with a pink bow on its head is holding a green pickle . ALT: a stuffed animal with a pink bow on its head is holding a green pickle .

Follow me for more exciting stuff!

1 year ago 0 0 0 0

Someone take me to the wild side if this app…

1 year ago 0 0 0 0

We need a THICC thigh Thursday for sure. Some of these poetry tweets are 😴

1 year ago 0 0 0 0

What day is boob day around here?

1 year ago 0 0 0 0

What you mf’ers doing today?

1 year ago 0 0 0 0

Especially you!

1 year ago 1 0 1 0

Where are the boobs? Are there no boobs here? What kinda site is this? Send boobs!

1 year ago 0 0 0 0
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Stay moist my friends! Yes you. 😉

1 year ago 1 0 1 0

Not even sure

1 year ago 1 0 1 0
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a green moisture meter shows that the moisture is dry ALT: a green moisture meter shows that the moisture is dry
1 year ago 1 0 1 0

Whatever you do, do not gif search “butt sniffer”

1 year ago 1 0 1 0

how is it only tuesday

1 year ago 1995 120 205 15

I feel like cocaine would make life easier at this point.

1 year ago 22 4 4 0

Lick it and pass it…

1 year ago 0 0 0 0

I wanna taste the muffin top

1 year ago 0 0 0 0

I wanna see the cake…

1 year ago 4 3 0 0
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sex, drugs and Neil Diamond

1 year ago 97 33 12 1

Maybe not. There was no coffee 😉

1 year ago 0 0 0 0

Hey 👋

1 year ago 1 0 0 0

My toddler has been crying for 10 minutes because my husband told her that one day she’ll be grown up, and frankly I get it

1 year ago 660 126 13 5

“it’s bad luck to clink with an empty glass” i say, filling mine with macaroni salad

1 year ago 261 40 1 1

*stretches

1 year ago 1 0 1 0

My neck, my back... Gladiator in MX4D, wth was I thinking!

1 year ago 18 7 2 0

[sees an old man with a tattoo] *whispers to self* gramp stamp

1 year ago 494 120 3 3

i’m sorry i panicked and said “meep meep” when you told me your grandmother died

1 year ago 743 121 19 1

DM me, I dare ya…

1 year ago 1 0 0 0
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