Matt Damon playing a 14th century French knight that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mullet. Beard. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and cigarette smoke.

Matt Damon while playing Odysseus who also looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Long, skinny beard. Smells like horseshit, pine tar, and perhaps Mediterranean herbs.

Matt Damon playing a 19th century cowboy that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mustache. Shaggy hair. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and definitely chewing tobacco.

Every time Matt Damon takes on a period role he ends up looking like a third baseman for the Phillies.

a cavs tweet that says BE EARLY. BE LOUD. BE THE **C**** DIFF and the slogan in a graphic

The slogan “Be the C Diff” definitely didn’t land the way the Cavs thought it would lol

serenely imagining meeting Justin Trudeau in the Turnstile circle pit at Coachella

Mark Carney has to try to poach batshit Tory backbenchers and talk to either Danielle Smith or Trump like every day. JT got the better deal.

3 years ago this man was having to read long ass notes I wrote about health care financing and now he gets to be whiteboy wasted in the VIP at Coachella. What a come up.

I think it’s nice that he’s having a nice time

reiterating a long held policy: I will repost any post that makes me genuinely laugh out loud.

['good day sunshine' voice]

i can't put too fine a point on this. but i think that she should be granted leniency if she is willing to return to her life of crime killing people with ketamine addictions for "one last job"

but also...lol. lmao, even.

I won't lie, no tent that is big enough to include someone with these views is a tent I'll ever want to sleep under

Imagine you're trying to watch the c-beams glitter near the Tannhauser Gate and some guy is yapping into your headset about how rude Steve-O was to him at the Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen

NJPW storylines are really popping off

*Doing Tom Cochrane at karaoke but I forgot my reading glasses*

DRINK THEIR MILKSHAKE, ANYBODY? THERE WILL BE BLOOD, FOLKS?

A live earthquake report from our very own Dave Meltzer #earthquake YouTube video by F4WOnline

This is maybe only pertinent to pro wrestling fans but Dave Meltzer experiencing an earthquake live on stream and going “ok so it’s a 5, that’s, you know that’s significant but 6 are worse” in the exact patter that he describes a Young Bucks match is very funny

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake By A Horse Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food. I am thinking I would like to try cake. Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape. Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy. Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much. I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on." Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me.

It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

Macron: 'France is the second biggest manga country… after Japan, obviously!'

have been alerted to the linkedin page of a guy who has a homer in tonight's rockies-blue jays game thanks to @mearns.bsky.social and i'm dying

The cats are pigeonpilled. They’re trying to huntmaxx but are getting their cortisol spiked by two wingchads

@jason @Jason Here’s the truth: we’ve already reached AGI — we just haven’t implemented it broadly. Millions of jobs are being lost as we speak. Entire careers will be retired. The rich and powerful investors and founders who implement AGI will get bizarrely rich beyond what makes sense. It will break people's brains on both sides. It’s gonna suck for a lot of our friends and family, who aren’t obsessed with their careers, because things are moving so fast they won’t have even left the starting gate by the time the awards are handed out. We’re gonna have to solve for a lot of second- and third-order effects, some of which will suck (job loss) and some of which will be awesome. AI will create free/cheap energy, free education, cheaper and better food, homes that build themselves and medicine that makes you as healthy as a 30-year-old when you’re 100. … change is hard, but humans are the most adaptable species nature has ever created. We can figure it out

this is how you know it's really over for the ai scam: when jason calacanis declares that AGI is actually already here

That all of the consultant class Libs are constantly whining about Avi when no one else outside the party is really paying attention tells you he’s a threat

In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!!!

we are not a serious country

Castor Semenya: "I have carried this weight. So have other women of colour who deserved better from sport. Reintroducing genetic screening is not progress — it is walking backwards. Women’s sport does not need this. It needs to be abuse-free... This is just exclusion with a new name."

It’s big ball chunky time

I'm the guy in the government who decides when it's time to "just say some shit." Industry best practices hold that after a big human rights violation or bad job stats or the president says "I would never kiss Katy Tur on her whatever" to a visiting head of state it's a good time to talk about Mars.