replacing lemonade with Jim Beam was the best idiotic DoorDash glitch I have ever encountered

I’ve just decided while writing a list about the Dec 13 SNME that both Trump and Vince McMahon are going to appear on camera, probs together which I have gathered through vibes only.

This “Perfect Neighbor” hag & her fugly troll sister certainly look familiar to me… hmm weird 🤔

“Literally no one told you that you look like Wade Barrett - Teddy Swims’ weirder & uglier brother at BEST”

I wanted Ruth Markel to bring a steel chair up with her for the victim impact statement so badly!

It is my one day off per week from writing about professional wrestling so today I essentially clocked into the Donna Adelson trial like it was my job 🤣

a woman sitting on a couch with the words you got some fight in you girl ALT: a woman sitting on a couch with the words you got some fight in you girl

My toxic trait is that if a man who hasn’t watched WWE since 1999 randomly mentions Vince McMahon to me - this is now a lawsuit TED talk including all my most horrifying eidetic memories because yes I did read the ENTIRE thing

Adam Cole BayBay forever 🥹🥹❤️ #AEWAllInTexas

Using #AEWAllInTexas as an excuse to act up

Also just tell them you’re Latina ladies - I give you my card 🎟️ then you can be as crazy as you want heyooooooooo

“Men love to try and grab a firecracker with a mitten” is a real text I just sent and it’s gonna work too 🤣🤣🤣

There’s baby bunnies in my garden now too and I feel like a Snow White ass bitch out here

“My aesthetic is a drag queen threw up on me because I was too cringe to handle”

Hear me out - Jersey Shore summer but steal all the MAGA music to make it awkward?

Like drag queens should be doing shots to American Badass!!!

This Sabrina Carpenter ‘Manchild’ is the song of the summer and as well, my life 🤣🤦🏻‍♀️✨

It’s like I know I’m Vanessa from Little Mermaid you don’t need to tell me about it ✨

This is the opposite of Good Will Hunting - this is ABSOLUTELY your fault. 😂

Psst #wrestlesky - can we all unite behind Anthony Bowens … not just June but forevs? K besties lemme know 🌈🦄💖 #AEWDynamite

LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!

AEW Anarchy in the Arena was just incredible.

#AEWDoN #AEWDoubleOrNothing

I wasn’t even watching live and I think Anarchy in the Arena altered my brain chemistry.

I’ve listened to this damn song a bunch of times today too 🤣

I feel like Shania Twain kinda gave me the ‘men ain’t shit’ playbook in junior high and I was like nahhh… but yeahhhh what are you, Brad Pitt? 🤣

WE’RE ON A BUDGET!!!

#AEW #AEWDON

The best running bit in my house is every time I sing, my son shouts out “oh no, not again!!” but in a wildly exaggerated English accent 💂🏻I have zero clue why it is in an accent but I love it.

My baby beat the brakes off that “non-verbal” allegation 🙏🏼

Thank you for your commitment to art 🙏🏼✨💖

Who is Jeff Cobb? That’s JC Mateo pal!

In case you were wondering what being a Mom is like at bedtime - three year old is hosting a rave with lights, bubbles and a techno remix of Hot Dog Dance and my six year old is yelling from his bedroom that he is “home sick for the Philippines” - he has not left America & we are not Filipino 😂

Amanda’s lukewarm takes - AEW merch is infinitely cozier than WWE.

I have tried multiple sweatshirts from WWE and they aren’t soft!!!

My latest obsession is body cams petty crimes (like people shoplifting shit they don’t need or ‘entitled drunk Karen’ lol) but there’s one manager type at Palm Beach Gardens Costco that is done with the games and he’s a shoplifting super sleuth 🕵🏻 this is like the third video of him haha

I’ve had a patient with CJD and it was an excruciating process to watch.

Somewhere my next ex-husband is also genuinely curious about the interface between the USA’s cheese caves + Dominos now having stuffed crust pizza which was previously a Pizza Hut thing. Like I want the HUMAN DRAMA regarding this potential new contract 😂