"I respect you so much" and "it's beneath you" are wild

I saw mommy kissing santa claus and dad was just watching from a chair in the corner of the room

BARE minimum btw

😋

a cartoon character with glasses and a red hat has a heart coming out of his nose ALT: a cartoon character with glasses and a red hat has a heart coming out of his nose

This is an accurate description of what I look like when I’m crushing on someone.

U.S. pals:
Do. Not. Donate. To. Salvation. Army.

There are better charities out there. Much better.

I like how my brain will ignore important stuff but suddenly remember a song from ‘97 perfect.

War with Venezuela will be announced on Dec 18th btw

I just woke up from a nap feeling like your grandma's white crusty dog

She ain’t a bird watcher but I’d say she’s seen a cockatoo

whale loneliness epidemic

why were so many of the epstein freaks like “guys let’s capture this moment forever”

keep the cats in and keep the pigs out

GOD: if my commandments get 50,000 likes, i will tell Abraham to kill his son

don't threaten me with a good time

We're so back btw

The Hughes/Faber pairing backing up Wallstedt is going to be a BRICK WALL

QUINN HUGHES TO MINNESOTA?!??

HOLY SHIT

Hate to see Rossi go but goddamn I didn't even know the Wild were on the table! I was low-key hoping he'd come to Detroit but I had all but written it off thinking he'd likely join his brothers in NJ...

Wild are gonna make a serious run and I'm HERE FOR IT

I've been high all 3 times I've watched that movie but I was at home

Being stoned seeing Mulholland Drive for the first time in a theater would be a religious experience

eating pussy during a work break >

10/10 would recommend

Frustrated Trump Struggling To Find Any Infrastructure Left In Indiana To Destroy WASHINGTON--Searching in vain for a meaningful way to retaliate after Indiana lawmakers rejected his Republican gerrymandering push, a visibly frustrated President Donald Trump was reportedly struggling Friday to find any infrastructure left in the stat...

“I’m looking all over, and there’s just no way we can make this any worse,” Trump said

*gives you all the pets and tells you what a good girl you are*

The piss tank on the ISS is now 51% full.

"How could we have seen this coming?"

*Did you try and look???*

exhausted of doing stuff

So, if I draw and sell a cartoon where the Cinderella mice crawl up Gaston's butt, I'll still be sued, but it's now acceptable to allow millions of users to use AI to generate such things? The son is always that an artist might get paid.