misidentified Netflix descriptor screen: text says "tidying up with Marie Kondo" and photo is a person with an assault rifle in the desert

seriously, get rid of your crap

Margo Martin @MargoMartin47 X.com Congratulations, Georgia Women's Tennis! The photo shows Trump and five white dudes in red ties standing in front of and completely blocking 10 young women

Priceless post from the official White House social media

Salute to an all-time tweet

Some job news: I now work in the newly-established Federal Department of Metaphors. How are we doing so far?

Sadly, for those who struggle with bipolar disorder, Wrestlemania can be followed soon after by Wrestledepression.

This is a valid point: whenever you see this sort of high-pressure sales tactic turned on a technology, you can be CERTAIN that it's a fake—actually useful new tech sells itself!

And don't underestimate the effectiveness of FOMO as a tool in the hands of a con artist.

My takeaway from the pandemic is that people were way more traumatized by the interruption to their lives than by all the death and I don’t think people want to think about that because, man, it’s really uncomfortable!

When I say "Does he look like a bitch?" I am quoting scripture

I Played 'The Boys Are Back in Town' on a Bar Jukebox Until I Got Kicked Out The boys were back in town, but I was out of the bar, because they asked me to leave.

on the 50th anniversary of the release of The Boys Are Back in Town I'm morally obligated to share my favorite story of all time

911: what is your emergency

INVENTOR OF MILKSHAKES: help there’s like a million boys in my yard right now

Exactly one year ago today:

Who called it 'collecting obsolete pieces of technology' and not Betamaxxing.

MELANIA: You want me. Out of nowheres. To remind every one. Of my best friend, and child sex monster. Jeffrey Epstein?? (squints evilly)

NATHAN FIELDER: (voice over) The First Lady loved my idea.

captcha that asks you to identify which posts are jokes before replying

I can't believe a FIFA Peace Prize winner would do this

Not specifying which civilization has big Monkey's Paw energy

never forget when the Easter Bunny sent Teddy Roosevelt to the shadow realm

actual nytimes headline FEMA Official Says He Teleported to Waffle House. Experts Are Dubious.

you, a naive fool: i do believe there are some things the nytimes won’t both sides

the nytimes:

when we're all unable to connect to use the internet, send emails, pay our bills, use our toasters, and god knows what else if AWS goes down, i want you to know now that i blame our lack of antitrust laws far more than i'll blame a foreign missile

Sasha Issenberg @sissenberg.4h Does the @nytimes know what NATO stands for? A8 EG Attack on Iran THE NEW YORK TIMES INTERNATIONAL FRIDAY, APRIL 3, 2026 NEWS ANALYSIS By STEVEN ERLANGER A North American Treaty Organization Without America?

Can you imagine how many people approved it before publishing?

Shameful.

tweet from Imagine A Guy guy who only knew jesus professionally: Honey, did you hear they CRUCIFIED our CARPENTER???

SECRETARY RUBIO: Imagine if instead of spending billions of dollars supporting terrorists or weapons, Irans had spent that money helping the people of Iran. They would have had a much different country.

objectively the funniest critique an american could level at another country

A Kalshi ad that says "We don't do death markets"

My "We don't allow bets on assassinations and murder" ad campaign has people asking a lot of questions already answered by the ad campaign

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i did not make this up. this is an actual screenshot, from right now.

This damned post makes me laugh every time I see it.

Born too late to deploy to the Middle East Born too early to deploy to the Middle East Born just in time to deploy to the Middle East

A history of American foreign policy, 2000-2026:

Archaeological Dig Uncovers Ancient Race Of Skeleton People

Archaeological Dig Uncovers Ancient Race Of Skeleton People theonion.com/archaeological-dig-uncov...