It's literally too fucking cold for me to function in here right now

WAS ANYONE GOING TO TWLL ME THAT CRAYOLA MARKERS HAVE MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEETS OR WAS I JUST GONNA HAVE TO FIND THAT OUT ON MY FUCKING OWN

lads we've started the posting on the everything app
if I disappear that's where I went lamao

NEW PERSONAL BEST

PAGE TWENTY-FIVE

Happy tdov to all those who can be visible

That's how they do it. That's how they open the ai

I don't think I can ever come out to my boss only because she has somehow gotten my chosen name mixed up with my dogs name and it's too late to correct her.
I am my own dog.

a black and white photo of a man with the words " another one " above him ALT: a black and white photo of a man with the words " another one " above him

I have no real knowledge on cars or advice to give, but have you considered

even the harshest of noise artists could never have conceived of a bus full of people without fucking headphone jacks or human decency

I am this 🤏 fucking close to sitting next to the guy who's got his phone on speaker, unplugging my headphones, and playing this audiobook about meditation and full fucking volume

when will they invent a body that does not keep the score

i make one joke.

from across the house, a voice-- lyrical and strong.
"UNSUBSCRIBING FROM THE MARRIAGE. DIVORCE."

BEST FRIENDS

おとな の happy meal

lmao calling myself a "regular" at my place of employment to score a free Japanese picture book to help motivate myself to keep learning

the worst thing ever happened

I missed taking a screenshopt of 69 hours of this headache now I'm at 77 fuck my stupid baka life

t shirt that says "this sext could have been an email"

MY BUS BROKE DOWN
SO I WALK AGAIN.
YER NEVER GONNA KEEP ME DOWN

MY BUS BROKE oh wait its moving again

Lads my princess wife is trying to promote me to king status but I'm really more of a stable boy who got lost on his way to the kitchens

I can't wait to get written up for insubordination or whatever for telling my boss my water broke and then her boss (made my boss make me sign something that violates my contact lol) gets to freak out about pregnancy and other protected statuses while my wife and I are cleaning up after the flood

i understand that im very aggressively duct taping this egg back together but i do NOT have time for this

i can't believe im about to report parking violations jesus fuck i follow no laws but parking on the sidewalk right the fuck THERE is dangerous as hell

DIVORCE!!!?

SHE CALLED ME HER CLOWN HUSMAND

if I start experimenting with hormones when do I need to tell my workplace?? do I just show up one day to a meeting with a shitty teenage boy beard while they continue to ignore my pronouns?????

wife: and movies.
wife: I love movies
me: I love you
wife: I also love you. And movies.

SHE LET ME HIT BECAUSE OF MY rough or clumsy and unintelligent (typically used of a man) MANNERISMS AND BEHAVIOR

my wife: *patting my stomach* "it's ok I still love you, my dairy bigot"

me: "THATS NOT WHAT LACTOSE INTOLERANCE IS"

I don't have a car. If we need LE backup and get told there's "no cars in the area," am I as a county employee allowed to bring up the county Uber pool or is that too bitchy?

Help I accidentally gave my wife the estrogen that turns you into a kitty and now she's on my lap and won't stopakinf biscuits and I gotta go to work =(

Things my wife learned from her dad:
- you are loved.
- you have value as a person.
- the things that make you different are to be cherished and not punished

Things I learned from my dad:
- lick a 9v battery to test charge.
- women can't make good music.
- fix a flat.