Voting on spy powers at 2am will definitely help with trust in the government!

Exactly one year ago today:

I always wondered and have even been tempted. Sounds like it’s less of a gusher and more of a burner.

I don’t post and mostly reskeet, true to my childhood and journalistic nature of getting attention by saying, “hey look, he’s about to eat bug and ground crackers!”

When i was a kid i used to eat bugs and things off the ground for attention but now that im older i post on bluesky, even tho eating bug and ground crackers was probably much healthier.

The eyeball popping progression of the Large Marge character from the Oscar-shoulda-been Pee Wee’s Big Adventure.

it's the first day at standing school for Wright, Zeldin, and Burgum

Y’all are wild

Stephen Colbert's Maria Bartiromo impression.

get wrecked losers lmao

But please imagine a proofread version of my comment.

Name please for those who have no idea what you’re talking about, which were ok with, but kind of want to know of want to know who more-world-engaged-Baron is

Came to say this

You’ve clearly never seen me try to mate.

An editor’s note from the bottom of the story reads, “This article has been updated to reflect the arrival of Imani.”

I love this, making it seem like a small-town church bulletin updating you on which members of the Pontes family are in town for commencement.

A mother-son relationship is special. I value my mother and stepmother over any potential girlfriends.

He can mix politics and religion for votes and money, but God’s representative on Earth should stay away from the affairs of man.

Regret to inform everyone that Peter Magyar beat the world’s smartest illiberal populist in large measure by working incredibly hard for 2 straight years, meaning the rest of us are just going to have to get off our asses and do shit rather than just complaining.

Chicago White Sox pope hats giveaway

In the running for greatest giveaway of all time

I need for Raven Symone to realize that she is Raven Symone because baby, she doesn't know how influential and loved she truly is.

Ok well this is going pretty far!

🤷🏼

Nutella is fine.

NANCY BY ERNIE BUSHMILLER P1- NANCY IS BED, SHE CAN’T GET TO SLEEP SO SHE IS COUNTING SHEEP. SHE IS IMAGINING THE SHEEP JUMPING OVER A FENCE P2- NANCY CONTINUES TO IMAGINE THE SHEEP ARE JUMPING OVER THE FENCE P3- SUDDENLY NANCY REMEMBERS ITS BE KIND TO ANIMALS WEEK P4- NANCY IS HAPPILY COUNTING THE SHEEP, BUT INSTEAD OF JUMPING OVER THE FENCE, NANCY IS IMAGINING THE SHEEP ARE RIDING AN ESCALATOR UP AND OVER THE FENCE

Nancy By Ernie Bushmiller
April 10,1947

Iran sounds a lot like Minneapolis.

Hire her, cowards

Hot take: it's good for websites to go down. They should all go down.

Oh they meant THESE illegal orders

Due to foreseen circumstances, I will not be able to attend your party