Bro be like “still in the stu 🤑🤫” . Yeah, you haven’t left your bedroom in four business days

Big things happening on Tik Tok

Two bottles of barefoot in the trash you’d think I was playing in the snow

The Harry Potter movies would’ve gone different if a RN like me was him. I would’ve been aviddy kadibbying people if they talked about my mom 💯🤫😭

Mexicans be eating a lot of weenies

“That’s why we’re salaried”
Oh so it’s time to look for a new job

If I talked to you at It’ll Do just now that I love you

Y’all go to clubs to talk to the opposite sex or listen to the music. I go so I can drive home drunk

Sorry, I’m going to love bomb you now because you keep giving me the tiniest amount of attention that I crave

Update: She blocked me and told my mom

Finna “haha I love (insert artist here) too” and report back

People who clip their nails in the office should be punished via forced labor

Committing tax fraud by stuffing my capital gains in extra large papusas

If you look like Sofia Falcone hmu pls and ty

Universal smells like ketamine. I will not elaborate

Made gym bae laugh.

+10 Gainz
+5 Cardio

I talk to myself while wearing AirPods and if someone looks at me weird I just say “hold up, I think this person wants something”. Magenta Males must always be ready to gaslight

Thinking about the Roman Empire is lame. I’d rather think about the Fall of Reach

If you drive a black mini cooper with a UNT license plate cover I just want you to know that you yield at roundabouts not stop. Fuck you and eat a pile of shit

Big League Chew is the string cheese version of gum

Nah, I don’t want it if you’re not trying to give me uppies

Easiest things to do….

1. Compliment your grandmothers cooking
2. Give a dog a belly rub
3. Corporate espionage

….
9,999,999. Talk to women
10,000,000. Enjoy the feeling of grass

Thot son or AI Themed Tik Tok daughter?

My new pastime is looking for old posts on Facebook market place and asking them for more photos then leaving them on read

Never forget that my Clan Tag was KORN in mw2

Best part about CSGO is when you lose a round and the whole team decides to sing “I Want It That Way”

I’ve never had an original idea

There are two types of Mexican-Americans in the world. Ones who couldn’t roll their Rs until they were teens and now roll them every chance they get and those that could since birth but no longer can speak it

Idk about y’all but I’d be the situation in The Situation Room

I’ve missed having an avenue to vent. Now y’all can hear about the consequences of my actions