Welcome aboard, Noah Newman! 🧤

The GK unit just got stronger 💪

Noah is a Sounders Academy player with four matches played for the Tacoma Defiance, and he traveled with Sounders FC to Portugal over the summer.

This fall, he’ll join the reigning national champions, the University of Washington.

#Writing, sometimes: "Oh thank god, a phone call to free me from this torture."

Writing, other times: "God damnit! Stop bothering me, I'm on a roll!"

Often, these happen within 30 minutes of each other.

One of the many ways I know Trump is bad at politics is that he keeps talking about Iran. If he'd just shut up, most Americans would assume it just sort of...stopped.

"Three Days Off" is for sure going on the back of my next Sounders jersey.

This is not going to go well for Patel...

When Trump voters say "I didn't vote for this" you don't have to say "yes you did" or ask what they DID in fact vote for.

The answer to the latter is the same as it has always been: Racism.

Dear everyone, fair and equal are not the same thing.

Carry on.

Seems low tbh.

The $250 million number is what Patel thinks is enough bait to get, say, a $25 million settlement.

The Atlantic better see this one through. It will never see a courtroom. Patel will cave because clearly The Atlantic isn't stupid enough to print that stuff without it being airtight.

I get the value of a rearview mirror. But why does it have to be a video screen now? I was behind a little coup this morning and the bright-as-hell video image where the mirror should be was shocking. I sort of get it in trucks or vans.

In a little meep meep car? Makes no sense.

When are state governments going to learn?

Can someone explain to me the value-added of video screen rearview mirrors in cars?

This is the dumbest thing I’ve seen an a minute.

I’m sure he’ll become a walking liability as soon as I post this, but this is Nouhou.

Also, after 7 games, he’s on 1 Yellow, 0 Reds. Quite incredible, honestly.

I’m on the choo-choo this year for a change.

I wish more Sounders fans knew what an absolute legend Brian Schmetzer is.

Legend.

Make that shit permanent.

Now do Pioneer Square.

We live in a country where the two most dynamic, charismatic, eloquent politicians of this century have the first names Barack and Zohran. This is what bothers the white supremacists so much.

Cascadia.

There is only one MLS franchise I want to fail.

I’d trust the occupants of the Mystery Machine with this job more than I do these fuckers.

Child: I know your name. Mamdani.

Obama: What’s his first name?

Child: Mayor.

No wonder he terrifies right wingers.

He’s good at his job. They hate that.

Asked the LEGO store in Century City if they had any Iranian play sets. Best they could do is this Straight of Hormuz Tanker.

Soft ass penalty in Colorado. Miami player was inviting contact and went down far, far too easily.

Toronto FC would have been better off giving $22 million to their fans to entice them to come to the stadium.

Spurs. Amiright?

Ah. Right. Score a nice goal, immediately give up a worldy at the other end. SMH.

Are Spurs allowed to score nice goals? What is happening?

Previous “record”? WTF?