im tired of this world everyone hates eachother

i wanna die already

fuck

why cant it just end
endless suffering
theres no end
gender dysphoria
coming out
discrimination
let me go
bound by the shackles of life

people know me as the math guy or the music guy, but no one knows me as the *me* guy.
people see me for my achievements, but not for my personality
do people even like me irl

Just kill me already

Pain

AAAAAAAGGGHHHH

I don't even know what im thinking... its just in 15 layers of encryption, its just suffering, I don't even know why

.

Im nothing
Im not special
I crumble under any pressure and just hide it
Im "the gifted kid"
Its just expected that I exceed expectations
Its hell
People want to be gifted
But someday you burn out and get crushed by expectations
People want to be me as if im amazing but really im not

I wanna feel something instead of empty pain

Hell

It always feels like im on the verge of it but I never am and it feels like I'm subconsciously just trying to make myself suffer

Im scared to share things on here from past experiences
Im constantly reminded of sep 10
That one event
I can't escape it

I can only ever cry in intensely emotional situations
I get close but my brain stops it

I've tried

I wish I could cry

I wanna say things but I'm scared that it'll cause a repeat of a traumatic(?) event

Asphyxiation

Ugh its April already WHY IS TIME PASSING SO FAST

Why cant I bring myself to end it I know I want to

Feeling like dying today
Life is just an endless loop
Nothing is changing
Wake up
Go to school
Suffer
Go home
Suffer mentally
Go to sleep
Repeat
I hate this

Ugh theres so much mind fog I can't do this anymore

what the fuck this is a vent account

@sentimentbot.bsky.social just out of curiosity...

i just wanna die
why do i have to act like this
its just so much fucking guilt

i feel like im making shit just for the sake of having power
am i just a control freak trying to control people
what the fuck is wrong with me
i create a discord server even tho it has the exact same people that other servers have
am i doing it for the power?
why the fuck am i like this

so fucking tired
why cant it be friday

the musical is over.
i cant believe its over.
i miss it already
so many fond memories
so much fun acting
i wanna cry but i cant
i wish she was here to see it...

i overthink too much